Becoming Bella
by SweetXSacrifice
Summary: Bella comes to Forks so her vampire boyfriend is more comfortable. He’s all she’s ever known but when they go to Forks and see the Cullens, what will happen when one of them shows her what real love is? AU/OOC B/E eventually.
1. Chapter 1

Plot: Centered around twilight. Only Bella comes to Forks so her vampire boyfriend is more comfortable. He's all she's ever known but when they go to Forks and see the Cullens, what will happen when one of them shows her what real love is? AU/OOC Bella and Edward.

BPOV

Allan and I had decided to move once again. Well technically it was Allan who decide and I was just tagging along. We had been together for what seemed like an eternity. I had lost my parents when I was only 7. It wasn't until after they were gone that I realized how much I really loved and missed Charlie and Renee.

I was destined for the orphanage. Something that I had heard my fair share of horror stories about. So when I found out that my parents were killed in a brutal animal attack and had no next of kin whatsoever, I ran until I was sure freedom was mine.

I found this cottage in the middle of the woods. I thought it was abandoned so I readily entered it. That's when I found Allan Broderick. He wasn't looking to hide himself and what I saw frightened me at first. I remember his eyes were a brilliant red, like a solar flare. Cocking his head he beckoned me forward. While he undoubtedly frightened me, there was some unknown allure to it.

When he told me he was a vampire, I was sure he was off his rocker. He showed me proof by bringing my hand to where his heart should have been. Not only was it void of any beating, his hands were frozen. He asked about where I came from, and I told him what had happened and how I couldn't go back. Allan promised he would help me and so he did.

Allan Broderick and I weren't involved until I was 15. He had the appearance of an 18 year old but was alive for over 100 years. When I questioned his past further, he always said that it was none of my concern.

"Isabella, are you even paying attention to what I said so far?" Allan asked impatiently, breaking me out of my nostalgia. I hated when he called me by my whole name. He refused to call me Bella, claiming it didn't suit me.

"Sorry Allan, I guess my mind just took off on its own." I smiled at him. We had stopped so that Allan could hunt. I wasn't too sure where we were, all I knew was it was some big city on the western coast.

"Well pay attention next time. I'm gonna go into this club for a snack. Take this and go get yourself something at this restaurant. Just wait there until I come back for you." Allan ordered. He handed me some money and was about to leave.

"Alright, but Allan, aren't you worried about exposure?" I asked. Allan wasn't too big on the whole vampire secrecy rule. His mind control power made him cocky and he said that it livened things up.

"Ah hell Isabella! There you go again putting a damper on things. Now remember love, it's either them or you. And I'm sure you'd fancy them much better, as would I. I still want you around for the time being darling." He smiled and leaned in to kiss me. His teeth grazed my bottom lip just as he pulled back and he flickered his tongue across it. I had learned to perfect my reactions and not to shiver at times like this when I really wanted to.

It was pathetic really, Allan didn't even have to use his ability on me to keep me in line or where he wanted to. He never bit me or dranked from me, but just knowing that he could kill me was enough to keep me in my place so to speak. I loved him, he was all I had ever known really. Allan had taken me in when I had no one else. So in that respect, I did feel like I owed him some form of allegiance. I thought that Allan loved me as well on some level, but for all I know, everyone loves the same way.

Stepping into the Subway, I order quickly. The cashier seems friendly enough, so as I pay I decide to find out more about where I was.

"Excuse me, but me and my boyfriend are passing through and I just woke up when we got here. Could you tell me what see we're in?" I was thoroughly embarrassed about having to ask.

"Seattle. So are you here to stay?"

"Maybe for a few weeks or so. My boyfriend is kind of flighty." I answer. I should know more about where my life is headed than I do, but Allan never thought it mattered as long as we were together. Taking my sandwhich tray, I sit in the far corner looking at the passing pedestrians.

I can't help but wonder what life would be like if I did go to an orphanage. I probably would have been adopted eventually and grown up oblivious to this world. Perhaps I would have even gotten married, had kids as well. Picking at the lettuce on my plate, I find my appetite has vanished. A chilling hand is placed on my shoulder.

"Ready to go? I've found the perfect place to settle down in Forks. It's only a few miles east of here. You can play house even! Come on now lover, let's go." Allan grabbed my shoulder and roughly pulled me out of my seat. Allan was excited, but I couldn't bring myself to feel likewise. In all honesty, I was tiring of this endless cycle. Tomorrow would be a better day, it would be easier. It had to be.

**((AN: So…like it? Hate it? It's slow now but it'll pick up.))**


	2. Chapter 2

**I was surprised at how many story alerts I got for this story. So I guess you all like it. I wasn't going to update so soon, but I was sitting in math class and an idea popped in my head and I just have to write it out. The Cullens may make an appearance in this chapter…maybe next. **

**Chapter 2**

Pulling up to the house, it was a small two story house. It was white and pretty simple looking but it had a sort of quaint, homey feeling to it. The sun was still up as it was only 5:45 in the evening. Allan's bold moves still amazed me. It was kind of cloudy out but every now and then the sun would peek and Allan's skin was clearly visible.

"Hurry up and get inside, I'm quite thirsty." Allan growled. Opening the car door, I make my way through the house. Looking around, it is already furnished as if someone was already living here. Allan never bought anything he didn't have to, and I knew this house was no exception.

Everything seems outdated as if nothing's changed from twenty years ago. Meaning, Allan either killed some poor old couple or this house was abandoned. I would bet the former unfortunately.

"Time to christen our new home Isabella!" Allan swooped up behind me, tossing me in his arms. He sped up the stairs and I clamped my eyes shut. So that's what he meant by being thirsty. Allan only bites and drinks from me when we make love. I'm surprised he always seems to stop at the right time, but I guess he has been around long enough to be able to hold back.

"Allan, why don't you bite me completely. Don't you want me to be with you forever?" I asked him.

"I would love nothing more than to have you for eternity. But you don't understand what you're asking Isabella. The life of a vampire, yes it has it's rewards but along with that are great downfalls. Would you really want to see everyone around you dying and be defenseless against helping them? I could never take away your beautiful soul. It hurts me that you would even ask it of me, how could I damn the one reason for my existence to hell?" Allan pulled me closer to him in a crushing hug. He sounded so broken it was near impossible to believe he was anything other than genuine.

"I'm sorry Allan, I won't bring it up again." I could feel Allan trailing kisses along my shoulder, leading up to my mouth. Kissing him back, I let him push me back into the bed.

Waking up I find a note next to me.

'_Morning lover, ran out to catch a quick breakfast. There's food in the refrigerator, try not to miss me too much._

_Love, Allan'_

Bringing my arms up, I prop myself up. My whole body feels sore. Tossing the cover aside, I survey the damage. Running my hand across my inner thigh, I feel the puncture wounds left by Allan. Swinging my legs to the side, I attempt at standing. I throw a jean skirt on and a tank top on and hobble over to the bathroom.

Staring back at me in the mirror are tell tale signs of bruises forming along my throat and neck. Reaching for my compact, I quickly set to work at covering them up. I remember the first time Allan and I slept together. I thought that I was going to die it hurt so much. He's gotten gentler, minutely anyway. I guess I was just used to it by now.

Hearing a grumbling in my stomach I decide to raid the kitchen. Brushing my hair, I let it fall loose around my shoulders. It would be easier to cover up the bruises and it wouldn't be good if anyone became nosy. Leaning on the banister for support, I slowly start down the stairs.

Passing by the living room, I idly look around. I'm shocked to see seven vampires sitting around the room. I could feel my heart thumping in my chest. There was something off with these vampires. I've met my fair share of vampires and as far as I know, none of them had amber eyes. They were all facing me, with inscrutable expressions.

"Uh…sorry, I didn't know Allan was having company." I mutter and back away. I had never wanted Allan by my side more than at this moment. The tall blonde male, he seems to be the leader of this coven, stands up and glides towards me.

"It's alright, we don't want to put you out of your own home. Come sit, we won't bother you. I'm Carlisle Cullen by the way." Carlisle stuck his hand out for me to shake. Looking at it, I hesitantly shake it. He smiles warmly at me and guides me to an empty seat.

"Thanks. I'm Bella." I spoke quiet and uncertain.

"It's a pleasure to meet you Bella. Let me introduce my family. This is my wife, Esme, and my children Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper, Alice and Edward who's sitting next to you." Carlisle finished. The one named Edward was just staring at me as if trying to figure out some sort of puzzle.

"Um, is something wrong Edward?" My eyes meet his and I can feel my breath hitch briefly. Taking in his tousled bronze hair, his granite body, I feel light headed and self conscious. They all must think I'm on the verge of having a heart attack.

"No, I apologize for being so rude, it's just your mind is a blank to me." Edward smiled softly.

"Oh, well I know I'm not the brightest person ever but I'd like to think I have some kind of brain activity going on." I chuckled nervously. Maybe joking with vampires wasn't safe territory. But then again, shacking up with one wasn't any better.

"I can read minds Bella. Well, anyone's but yours. I'm sure you're positively brilliant." Edward complemented effortlessly. And of course I blushed like a ditz. Placing my attention elsewhere, I try to clear my mind. Crossing my legs, I sit silently.

"Bella, stop me if it's inappropriate, but how did you get those bite marks on your leg?" Carlisle asks. Looking down, I see my skirt had slid up enough to reveal the mark. Putting both legs flat on the ground, I quickly tug it down.

"Well, uh. Allan likes to bite me when we're uh, together." I run my hand across my face, thoroughly embarrassed. A cool hand lands on my knee, and I look up to see Edward. He simply smiled at me reassuringly.

"He…sleeps with you? I can't see how he can and bite you as well without you turning." Carlisle was perplexed.

"Allan is a very old vampire, he has to be 650 years at least. I guess he is just experienced enough. "

"Not enough to not hurt you. Why do you stay with him if he won't turn you?" Edward questioned. His eyes looked enraged, at what I didn't know.

"I love him, Allan loves me too much to turn me. He doesn't want to take away my soul."

"That's the biggest pile of shit I've ever heard in all my years. He's just using you as his personal blood bank Bella." Rosalie hissed out. I can't believe she just said that. That was such a lie. Allan loved me, if he didn't, why would he have saved me all those years ago?

"He's not using me dammit! We love each other."

"Really? If he loves you then why did he leave you alone with seven vampires? For all you know, we could have been vicious vampires ready to tear into your throat!" Rosalie stood up to drive her point through. My eyes were wide with shock.

"Rosalie! That's enough!" Edward growled. "I'm sorry Bella. It's none of our business to question you and Allan's relationship."

"I have to believe we love each other. He's all I've known most my life and if I really am just his personal blood bag, then I'm just trapped." I shut my eyes against the tears I could feel forming. Silence engulfed the room. The front door banged open and closed. Allan flew inside.

"Well I see you all beat me to my own home. And you've met my lovely Isabella." Allan picked me up and sat down, placing me in his lap, possessively wrapping a hand across my neck.

"Yes, Bella has been good company." Carlisle spoke politely.

"Bella? That's such a bastardization of such a beautiful name. It's Isabella." Allan readily corrected Carlisle.

"Oh, she introduced herself as Bella. Don't you prefer to go by Bella instead of Isabella?" Edward asked me. Allan just glared at me.

"No. That was a mistake. I really love my full name, Isabella." Everyone was tensed and I didn't need to be a mind reader to know that they didn't believe me.

"Why don't you go make yourself some breakfast Isabella." Allan commanded. Quietly, I jump down and head off to the kitchen, stealing a final glance at Edward.

**((AN: Yay! Another chapter!))**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Pouring myself a glass of juice, I plop down into a chair. What I wouldn't give to be anywhere but in this house. Allan was so humiliating, and it wasn't hard to see how much he enjoyed seeing my cheeks flush with embarrassment. He was going to be the death of me, I just know it's a matter of time before he follows through with it.

"Why do you let him treat this way?" a warm voice broke me out of my thoughts causing me to jump. Looking back I notice it's the 'youngest' Cullen, Edward. I can feel my body tense up and I avert my eyes back to the cup in my hands.

"Allan is taking care of me the best he can. The least I can do is let him call me whatever he wants."

"You deserve better." Edward took a seat next to me.

"You don't know me, maybe this is all I deserve."

"I don't believe that. Bella, I won't hurt you. My family drinks animal blood only." Edward smiled at me, I guess he could sense my rapid heartbeat. Stealing a glance into the living room, I couldn't hear anything.

"Edward, you shouldn't talk so frank. Allan wouldn't like it. And I have learned to play the cards that I've been dealt, things could be considerable worse." I'm not even sure I believe that. Sure, death would be worse, but at the same time it would almost be better.

"Carlisle and Allan went out into the forest, and the rest of my family went home. The idea of hunting animals intrigued Allan I think."

"He's always up for a challenge, but don't bet on Allan sticking to it."

"He will have to if he wants to remain in Forks. We have been peacefully living here for a few years now and we don't want to leave prematurely." Edward spoke earnestly. Silence fell over the room, and I wasn't sure what to say next.

"You're nickname really is appropriate." Edward lightly placed his hand on mine. Looking up at him, I tried not to pass out.

"Why is 'Bella' so appropriate?"

"Because you're beautiful." Edward stared into my eyes, a crooked smile falling into place. I felt heat rush up to my cheeks.

"Uh, um…thanks. You are too." I blushed even more. What a stupid response. Edward just broke out in laughter. I gave him my best glare in mock anger.

"Sorry, it's just so cute and funny when you're embarrassed." Edward tossed out in between his laughs. I couldn't help but laugh along with him.

"Having a cozy moment aren't we?" Allan broke our moment. Snatching my hands back from Edward, I quickly stand to my feet and practically gallop across the room.

"Not at all, don't be silly Allan. Edward and I, we uh…"

"Bella wanted to see how long she could take the coldness of my hand." Edward easily supplied.

"Yeah, but Edward was just about to leave, he has some family affair to attend." I didn't want him to leave, but it would be far too dangerous for him to stay any longer. Allan's jealousy was almost an eighth world wonder.

"Of course, well it was interesting meeting your uh, your family." Allan laughed in mockery. Anger washed over me so intense that I had an urge to cause Allan some amount of pain. As unrealistic as that was. Te really curious thing was why I was feeling all protective of Edward. Allan walked Edward out. When the door slammed shut, I knew judgment day had arrived.

"Isabella, you just don't know what's good for you do you?" Allan was still facing the closed door. I did know what was good for me, just not how to get it. He ran up to me before I could think about anything else and pushed me up against the wall.

"Sometimes I don't know why I put up with you all these years." Allan's eyes were pitch black and I knew what was coming. I could feel my feet dangling above the floor and my body, my neck more importantly, was inching closer to his teeth. Without hesitation, Allan sank his teeth into my neck and took a few gulps before letting me slump down to the wooden planks that composed the kitchen floor.

"Oh, now I remember why I keep you around." Allan laughed. I barely saw his back form through my dazed haze. I was barely conscious but I had managed to grab a nearby dishtowel and wrapped it around my neck.

"I'm going out, don't wait up for me." He didn't wait for a reply before running out into his car and zooming off. Lifting myself up, I reach for the iron pills. Stumbling into the living room, I sink down onto the sofa and chug the pills.

I let my head fall back and close my eyes. A cool breeze hits across my face but I don't have the strength to open my eyes.

"Bella, you're hurt." The voice of an angel caressed my ears.

"So. No one cares."

"I care more than you know. My family wants to help you so much. Let me help you." His cold hand fitted into mine and my eyes finally opened.

"Okay." I smiled weakly and let him lift me up into his arms. The moment those words crossed my lips, I felt instant relief and freedom.

**((AN: Sorry for taking sooo long updating, its just…well I don't have a good excuse, I was just being lazy. :( Hope it wasn't too horrible. Ha. ))**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Edward carefully placed me into the passenger seat of his Volvo. The engine softly purred to life and he quickly took off much in the same manner as Allan did when driving. Nothing was spoken between us and I couldn't help but feel as if my white knight was saving me from the horrible green eyed monster. Or red eyed vampire more accurately.

I've been wrong about these things before, all I know, Edward could just be trying to help me so he could have me to himself. To share with his family. I really didn't know him as much as I would like to believe.

"Where are we going? To your family's home?" I asked. Allan would have a field day with that one.

"As much as I would prefer that, it would be in your best interest if Allan found you in a more public place. We'll have to settle for the hospital. Carlisle, my father, is a doctor."

"Right, I remember that. Allan will still be furious that I sought medical attention either way."

"Not if I tell him I broke in to your home and you woke up in the hospital. You look exhausted like you could pass out at any moment's notice. So just go ahead, let go."

I realized that he was right. Dropping my head back against the seat, I do exactly as advised, I let go at least for a small fraction of time. The world blacked out and it felt wonderful. A wonderful nothing. When everything came back into focus I almost regretted it.

"Hey baby, I was hoping you'd be okay. You know I couldn't live without you. Alright, well let's face it, I couldn't live with you either." Allan chuckled with his cold hand holding my warm one. A tight smile forced itself on my lips.

"So, what's the prognosis Dr. Cullen?" I asked turning to him. I noticed that only Allan and Carlisle were in the room. I hoped that I would have to stay overnight. There wasn't too much that Allan could do to me then.

"Well, you did have some blood loss," Carlisle directed this to Allan, "but it wasn't enough to do any serious damage this time. You can go home just sign your discharge papers."

"Alright, thanks." I mumbled. Allan was already scooping up my belongings. I had to remember to thank Edward for significantly making my life even more difficult, however well intentioned it was. A nurse came in and handed me the papers and I quickly signed and gave them back.

Carlisle sighed heavily and unnecessarily. Swinging my feet to the floor, I sway a little bit and Allan steadied me. Carlisle held the door open for me and Allan, the sight before me surprised me.

"Edward and Alice wanted to see how you were after…after your accident." Carlisle smiled at me before walking to his office. Allan pulled me closer to his side.

"So uh, thanks for checking up on me. I'll see you around okay?" I made to move around them but Allan easily and slyly stopped me. He cocked his head and smiled smugly.

"Edward, thanks for helping Isabella. I have the perfect idea. You'll come over and we will all celebrate. You too Alice." Allan spoke in an eerie, calm tone. My heart sunk as I realized that Allan was using his power on them.

"Yeah, that would be fun. We'll uh, we will follow you." Alice answered. She sounded scripted and her words definitely didn't match her eyes.

"Perfect!" Allan dragged me outside the hospital and pulled me into his car. I was hoping the car ride would be silent, but I guess I should have known better.

"We're gonna have some fun with your new friends Isabella! Actually it be more appropriate to say that your new friends and I are going to have fun. You, not so much." Allan laughed like a maniac. Edward's Volvo was right behind us as we pulled up in the driveway.

I was herded into the living room and we all took seats. Allan sat on the coffee table directly in front of me. He looked at Alice and Edward intently, focusing on what he wanted from them.

"I think it's time you two see how green it really is on the other side. Now, why don't you take one arm and Alice, you take the other." Allan instructed. Without hesitation Edward and Alice lifted my arms. Now I knew what Allan meant when he said I wouldn't be having fun.

"Alright, go ahead and take a taste. Not too much though." Allan just sat back and watched as Edward and Alice sunk their teeth into my wrists. I gasped from the pain. They were overly eager at tasting human blood for who knows how long. Edward stopped briefly and looked up at me.

"I'm sorry, forgive me." He was struggling with biting me again. I was surprised that he could even go against Allan's power for even that short amount of time. It wouldn't really be fair for holding this against him when he had just as much free will as I did, actually even less than I do at this moment.

The blood loss was too great, coupled with the pain I blacked out for what I feared to be the final time.

**((AN: So I was stuck on this story but I got an idea now. Not to give too much away but I was thinking of how a human could kill a vampire, and I figured out the perfect way. Just a miniscule hint. ))**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

A bright, thriving meadow was all around me. In the distance you could hear a steady stream. I was lying on the ground with my arms behind my head. Tilting my head to the side, I saw Allan lying next to me. He was smiling and sparkling in the sun. Everything was peaceful and at ease. Suddenly, Allan turned towards me, and his face, his whole being morphed into Edward. Still looking at me, he spoke adoringly and softly. Characteristics one could never attach to Allan.

"I love you Isabella." Allan…or Edward rather, spoke assuredly. An effortless smile graced my lips and all too soon my eyes opened to reveal the dark, cold room of Allan's house.

A single tear fell from my eye as I painfully realized that it was just a dream. But what did it mean? Allan turning into Edward? Maybe it meant that Allan would change and become more gentle and loving. I really couldn't see that happening but I could not see what other meaning could be deciphered from my dream.

Thinking about what happened, anger begins to boil in my veins. I finally found people who seemed to genuinely care about me and now Allan has probably manage to scare them away. I couldn't begin to comprehend what must be going through their minds. Edward and Alice must hate me for disturbing their life so much.

I could hear Allan moving about downstairs. I propped myself up but was still quite lightheaded. I had to find away to free myself from Allan. He doesn't love me, I don't think he ever did. I was probably just one big challenge for him. I was just a pawn in his sick game, a pawn that Allan had no intention of releasing hold of.

But I was only a human. Not even the strongest of humans at that, but there must be a way to defeat Allan. Wracking my brain, I try to come up with a plan. Vampires must have weakness. I could only hope that vampires weren't at the very top of the pyramid.

"Damnit!" Allan yelled from downstairs. Allan never raised his voice really. So the fact that he did now, surprised me and I felt compelled to find out what was offending Allan. Willing myself up, I blink back the pain and force my legs to touch the cool wooden floor. Everything was still swirling, but I just had to see what was going on.

Heavily relying on the banister to carry my weight, I come to the end of the steps to find Allan quite frantically attempting to put out a small fire on the tip of his finger. I gasped when I realized that it seemed to spread out like wild fire. Allan couldn't contain it and further freaked out. He stopped up a sink and quickly submerged his whole arm in the cool water.

Somehow he didn't notice me, and I decided it would be the best time to go back upstairs. I tried to steady my heartbeat and creep up the stairs. I have to force myself to breathe. Once back inside, I close the bedroom door and take a deep breathe of relief.

I finally hit the Holy Grail of vampires. Fire would destroy them. It seemed too simple to be possible. Falling back into bed, I close my eyes to concoct a perfect plan.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

I heard the door slam shut and see this as my moment to act. This could be my only chance at getting my due freedom. Finding my way downstairs I go towards the basement. Allan never goes in there, there's no real reason to. I happened to explore a bit one day and found three two-gallon gas containers.

Picking them up, I juggle all three containers in my arms. Closing the basement door behind me, I quickly lay down the containers on the steps. Picking one back up, I make quick work of sprinkling the gasoline all over the house. Thoroughly emptying one, I grab the second and start pouring it up the steps. It empties as soon as I get to Allan and I's bedroom and grab the last one. Pouring it in a circle around the bed, I finally take all three containers and dump them out the window.

Looking around the room, I try to find something I could use as a bridge of sorts. My eyes land on a steel ironing board and I push it out of the window, resting it on a nearby branch and the window sill. To further complete my plan, I undress almost fulling, wearing nothing but my underwear. Grabbing a robe, I toss that out onto the tree as well. I situate myself in bed, but notice that this wouldn't fool Allan one bit. His keen sense of smell would detect the gasoline in a flash.

Unless he had something to distract himself from it, a smell far more alluring than the dangerous smell of gasoline. I hear Allan returning from his nightly escapades and I run to the bathroom. Picking up my razor, I slice it through the thickest part of my arm. I see the red running freely and I toss the bloody razor down towards the doorway. Sitting back on the bed, I quickly glance towards a lighter on my nightstand.

I clear my mind and try to relax on the bed. Allan appears at the doorway with a coy smile aimed towards me.

"I see you have some dessert for me my wonderful Isabella." Allan flew onto the bed and grasped me into his arms. He began to kiss my neck with great intensity.

"I wanted to make it up to you. My horrible behavior I mean. Would you forgive me?" I gaze into his eyes with as much honesty as I can muster. Allan just smiles at me and moves a strand of hair behind my ear.

"Of course I do. You're my little human." Allan spoke like this was supposed to be a compliment or something similar. He goes back to my neck, quickly moving to the open wound on my arm.

He is completely engrossed in my blood and and with my free arm, I grab a hold of a lighter. I have only a 1 out of 4 shot of this even working. And even if it does work, there's a good, no there is a great chance of me not coming out of this alive.

Bringing my thumb to the wheel, I click it on and see the flame ignite. Allan immediately pulls back, still holding onto my arm. I throw the lighter to the ground where it lands in a pool of gasoline. The small fire spreads rapidly, and I smile triumphantly.

"Isabella! Put the fire out now!" Allan bores into my eyes. I can tell he's trying to manipulate me with his power. I don't feel compelled to follow him at all though. His eyes widen at anger when I have yet to follow his order.

"DO WHAT I SAY ISABELLA!!!" His yell shakes the house.

"No. Not anymore." I whisper confidently. I yank my arm out of Allan's hand and push him back. Surprised that he falls back so readily and I don't waste another minute to escape. Leaping through the fire, I land on the floor and quickly dab out the heat. The flames spread throughout the house and it won't be long before the house is set ablaze.

I take a final glance at Allan to see him frantically trying to find a way out. By now the bedsheets have caught on fire and the flames are licking at Allan's skin. Regardless of his enflamed skin, Allan still comes after me. Jumping onto the steel ironing board, I climb as fast as possible to the other side.

An explosion sets the bottom half of the house completely on fire, its only a matter of time before the top half joins it. Reaching the other side, I kick the ironing board, letting it fall to the ground. I see Allan fall to the ground in pain. I wince seeing him this way. This was the right thing to do. Allan had to be stopped.

But I didn't feel anything like I was expecting. No joy, and not as much relief as I should have felt. Finally climbing down the tree, I fall to the ground. I run over to the forest and pull out my cell phone.

"Hello. Yes, I was passing by the Millers' old house and saw that it was on fire. No problem. Thanks." I hang up and break down. Rain falls on my head, and I gladly welcome it. I like the rain. It keeps everybody out and washes everything clean. And I needed so desperately to feel clean again, if I ever was.

**((AN: I updated twice bc chapter 5 wasn't that long and it's been awhile sense I've updated. So there you go. Oh and the rain quote came from the 2008 movie "Joy Ride." Just in case you wanted to know. :) )) **


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

Completely concealed in the forest, I cry. I cry for myself, my parents, my new yet short-lived friends, and I even cry for Allan. I once thought that perhaps some of my...humanity...would emanate off and Allan would absorb that. But he reflected every and any good thing that entered his life.

He lived so long, but wasted that on some moronic superiority mindset. To really think of it, that was the loneliest way to live. He was practically untouchable, always fearful of being too vulnerable. It was steadily getting darker and the night animals were making their presence known.

This was not the best place to sit and wallow in self pity. Forcing my body up, I push forward and walk to the front of the house. The firefighters are at the house and the fire is dying down slowly. I can't let them see me, they would ask a whole lot of questions that I just don't know how to answer.

Allan's black Aston Martin Rapide was parked a little ways down the street, out of sight. Sneaking back around the house, I quickly move towards the car. Getting inside, I easily find the keys in the glove compartment. Allan cockily thought that no one would dare to steal his car.

But I guess he thought that no one would dare to try and kill him as well. Especially not little feeble Isabella. I mean....Bella. I smile thinking of all the new liberties that have opened up to me.

Starting the car, I back out and put the car into drive. Pressing the gas thrusts me back almost immediately. I don't see how Allan could enjoy driving this, it is so fast. I see the trees and houses whizzing past me. Slowing down, I notice the houses are thinning out. I don't know how to get to their house, but I can only assume that it would be out of the way. Ten minutes or so had passed and I had stopped seeing any houses. A little further was a lone mailbox.

Turning at the mailbox, I cross my fingers and hope that I don't end up at some psycho killer's house. But when you think about, I had lived with a psycho killer for half my life anyway...well, I hope I don't meet another psycho killer.

The driveway was longer than imagined. Turning the car off, I leave the keys in the ignition. Stepping out, I'm not surprised to find myself out of breath. That felt like Indy 500. Closing my eyes, I take a few obligatory breaths and go to the door.

Knocking once, it isn't long until the door is answered. The blonde male...Jasper...answers the door. He looks almost pained and is struggling to speak. Maybe now wasn't such a good time to come. Maybe I didn't know the Cullens as much as I thought. A woman came to the door, whispering something to Jasper. I think she was the mother, though I can't remember her name exactly.

"Isabella, hi! Is there something we can do for you?" Her smile was tight and forced as if she was worried about being caught.

"I uh, I don't really know why I came here. I'm sorry for interrupting." I muttered, losing my courage. I was about to turn away but Esme, I remember now, reached for me. She guided me in to their living room.

"It's alright, here, take a seat."

As I did, the whole family filed inside. Edward was the last to do so and looked stunned to see me. He quickly turned away, and I noticed Alice refused to look at me. They probably hate me now, they should after what I made them do.

"Did Allan send you over here for something Isabella?" Carlisle started. When I looked into his eyes, I saw nothing but genuine concern. Smiling back at him, I think of what to say to him.

"Um. Not exactly. And it's just Bella now." Edward's eyes snapped to mine at the name correction. Very briefly anyway.

"Go on Bella." Carlisle encouraged me on.

"Allan's dead. I killed him." Everyone looked at me in disbelief.

"You killed a vampire? Yeah, right!" Emmett roared in laughter. I could feel my cheeks flush in embarrassment. I didn't think of how they might feel about that. Allan and the Cullens had different diets, but they were still somewhat kin I guess.

"I know it sounds absurd, but I guess I just hit a stroke of luck." I shrugged.

"But how did you manage to do so? Not only being a human drinker, Allan could control minds." Jasper was obviously interested.

"I found some gasoline cans in the basement. I poured them all around the house. When Allan came in from one of his, dining experiences, and in order to distract him from the gas I cut my arm. He smelled the blood, and came right to me. After I, um seduced him a little, I had a lighter and set him on fire. He was surprised that I was able to do so, and that worked to my advantage even further.

He panicked, and he tried to use his mind control on me. He never tried to do that before, I guess because he knew he never had to. But for some reason it didn't work, that angered him and stunned him even more. The house was almost completely on fire before I managed to climb out the back window to a tree. I made an anonymous call to the fire station and reported the fire. I stole Allan's car and sort of came here on auto pilot. I didn't know where else to go." I looked down.

The room was still quiet. Edward stood up and walked over to me.

"I'm sorry that you had to go through such a horrible experience Bella. But this isn't the place for you." He spoke cautiously.

"I understand, you're all upset that I killed Allan. I know he was one of you, but it would have been only a matter of time before he killed me." I took a few steps back. I surely wasn't any kind of vampire slayer, and the one that I did kill was my first and last. Carlisle reached out and touched my shoulder reassuringly.

"You did the right thing Bella. We are glad that you got away."

"Thanks, but what's wrong with me being here?" I asked. They couldn't turn me away. Edward, he cared for me. He was so nice to me before. Maybe that was just to get on Allan's good side. And now that Allan's dead, nobody needs me, or wants me.

"Nothing. Well something...Bella, what I am trying to say is that you don't belong with us. Allan never should have allowed you into our world. Besides, why would you want to be involved with more vampires when you just got your freedom back? You should just go out and experience what life is really like."

Alright, rejection at it's finest. Never let it be said that I stay anywhere that I'm not wanted. But it still stung more than a little bit that the Cullens were so ready to wash their hands of me.

"Fine. I guess I'll just go and see what all the hoopla is about this thing called life is." I nervously chuckled. Before they had an opportunity to respond, I ran out and drove off.

**((AN: So....review please? Thanks! ))**


	8. Chapter 8

So...to answer some of your questions:

Allan is dead...for the time being. I'm writing this chapter to chapter and honestly don't know where it's going to end exactly.

Edward and Bella aren't going to just automatically be in love with each other.

Edward isn't going to secretly stalk Bella in order to protect her.

Chapter 8

I mindlessly drove with no place in particular. In the middle of nowhere, the car decided to conk out. The gas tank read empty, and the tears in my eyes could not be kept at bay. What was I supposed to do now? I should have never killed Allan. I didn't have anything without him.

Sure I was free and didn't have to uphold his every wish. But at least I wasn't alone, and so obviously unwanted. Stepping out the car, I walk around.

Turns out I'm stranded in the middle of nowhere. I guess this only makes sense, why should things start going my way now? Going forward, I notice a break in the woods. Curiosity gets the better of me and I leave the paved road.

What I see looks surreal. A storybook view of a meadow opens up to me. Listening carefully I can hear water in the distance and the expected sounds of nature. Spotting a log, I make my way over to it and take a seat.

A cool breeze wraps arounds my arms. This would be nearly perfect if I had someone to share it with. I guess I should plan what I'm going to do next.

Let's see. Allan refused to let me go to school, I have no money, no reputable skills. And I think it would be safe to say that I don't know anyone.

So that would leave me screwed in every way possible. All of Allan's hateful words proved to be more fact than what I preferred to believe was fiction. I really was worthless, not good enough.

And to top that off, I destroyed the one person who was kind enough to take pity on me all of these years. I foolishly mistaken Allan's kindness for malice and cruelty. Looking around one last time, I slowly walk back to the car.

I jump up on the hood and lean back against the windshield waiting for a good samaritan to pass by. Or not. The sun already went down, the last rays of light fighting against the approaching night sky for dominance. Well, I always wanted to camp.

Alright, I really wasn't looking forward to a night under the stars but my choices were beyond limited. At least I thought they were before I heard a car coming to a stop beside Allan's car. It seemed to be around the same caliber of the Ashton Martin, leading me to briefly wonder and painfully hoping it to be one of the Cullens. Edward in particular.

The man, the disappointingly human man, left the confines of his car and walked over to me, stopping close to me to lean on his own car. I swing off the hood and wait for him to speak.

"Hello Ms. It seems you are having car troubles?" He smirked. He carried a deep Italian accent, warm brown hair, the most dashing eyes that seemed to bore into my soul and honestly, his build was far better than most. He seemed like some suave storybook character, or one of those unbelievable soap opera actors.

"Oh, I just ran out of gas. My mind has been elsewhere lately." I mumbled taking a deep gulp.

"Well, your boyfriend should be here by now. If it were me, I would never let such a beauty out of my sight as much as possible." the Stranger easily replied. My cheeks flushed.

"Ha. Sure, but um..I don't have a boyfriend. This is my car." I felt like I would be struck down by lightning at any given moment. But it was my car now. It still felt wrong.

"Alright, though I'm not sure it's possible for someone not to have snatched such a rare find up. But I'll be sure to thank the world for allowing our paths to cross. Now, I bet you've been out here for ages. Let's go get something to eat and we'll have that car fueled up in no time." he cocked his head almost willing for my acceptance of his invitation.

I hadn't thought of eating before, but the moment he spoke of food my stomach made it's desires known. I wasn't sure if I could trust him, but he seemed genuine enough and I didn't have any other way of getting help.

"Are you going to tell me your name before you whisk me away?" I ask trying to keep it light.

"Of course, my apologies ma'am. Mr. E.J. Dimera at your service. Well, just E.J obviously." the stranger, know known to me as E.J gave a small, semi-dramatic bow. I couldn't help but break out in a smile along with him.

"Nice to meet you E.J. My name's Isabella Swan. But Bella will do just fine."

"The pleasure of meeting you is all mine, my beautiful Swan." E.J gently lifted my hand to his lips. I blushed yet again.

"Let's go shall we?" I nodded to his question and followed him to his car. E.J opened my door, and we quickly took off.

**((AN: I'm not 100% ashamed to say I do watch soap operas. And I heavily based E.J Dimera on one. In fact....his name is exactly from it...but it's no cross over if you know which one I'm talking about. I'm just kinda obsessed with his hotness. Google him and you'll see why! Lol.**

**Oh and there won't be any Bella/E.J going on. There's definitely a lot of...well you'll see! ha.)) **


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

The ride was quiet. I had no idea what to say to E.J. or how to go about starting a conversation. I can only assume that he was content with the silence because his lips were sealed as well. Pulling up to a restaurant, my apprehensions were rapidly increasing. It was called The Sazerac and carried a subtle feel of luxury. My eyes widen and I whip around to E.J.

"What are we doing here?"

"Eating remember?" he replied as if it was completely normal to go to a five-star restaurant whenever one's heart so desired it.

"Yeah, but when you suggested dinner, I naturally thought you meant McDonalds or Jack-in-the-Box or something. Not the Fort Knox of restaurants." E.J. opened the door for me and held out his hand. Accepting it, I lift myself up and listen to his reply.

"I see I'm going to have to change your so-called natural way of thinking about things. This is the way to live Bella, you have not begun to live until you have lived like this!" E.J. spoke with such flair and gusto it was like some musical.

"And I suppose you are going to show me the proper way in the hour that it takes us to eat something that has over 20 ingredients?"

"Come on Bella, you must remind me why you're single again. And even then I probably will think you're the world's most adorable liar." E.J. smiled and placed his hand on the small of my back. Frowning a bit, I'm pretty sure I'm not a liar. Though I didn't exactly tell him the truth about not having a boyfriend completely.

The hostess took us to a table. She was obviously smitten with E.J. and familiar with him. She sent several evil glares in my direction, filled with misplaced jealousy.

"Your chair, madam." E.J. pulled my chair out for me before taking his own. I'm almost convinced that E.J. is nothing but an apparition of my poor deluded mind. Thanking him, we place our orders shortly after. The prices are atrocities but if it's fine with E.J then it's fine with me.

"Let's get to know each other Bella. Tell me more about yourself." E.J. suggests. He's holding my hand gently on the table waiting for the asked inquiry. It would probably be best to sugar coat the truth.

"Well, you know my name. Um, lemme see. I'm 19 and originally from Phoenix, Arizona. I moved here when my..when my parents were murdered with my boyfriend Allan. Allan's always taken care of me ever since the incident but he died in a house fire a couple of days ago so I'm all alone now." E.J. looked almost shell shocked.

"Wow, I am so sorry. What a tremendous tragedy for such a young woman."

"I'm just taking it day by day. Not too sure what I'm going to do now though, I have no family left and that car is the only possession I own." E.J's hand ran over his face warily.

"Sorry. I shouldn't have dumped all my baggage on you. I have just been harboring everything on myself and I don't know, I'm gonna quit talking right now." I nervously ran my fingers through my hair. So much for holding my cards close.

"Don't apologize Bella. I don't mind lending an ear. I could tell something was bothering you."

"I'm a really shy person, but for some reason I feel like I can tell you anything and you won't judge me. I've never been able to talk to anyone like that before. But enough about me, its time for your life story now." I smile trying to lighten up the atmosphere.

"From the beginning shall we? I'm 26 years young, I once was drove regularly for the Grand Prix in Europe before moving to America when I was 23. I've never been conventional and sitting behind a desk isn't quite my thing. I was born into money, but I'd like to think that I'm fully self sufficient now."

"How exactly are you fully self sufficient now?" I raise my eyebrow curiously.

"I'm the CEO of a national company called Mystics. The headquarters are rooted here and I spend 75% of my time here as well. You could say where in the entertainment business, catering to mostly the upper class society clients. Actually, I'm always keeping an eye out for new potential. I think you would fit quite perfectly into my company."

"I don't see how, you say it's entertainment based but I can't sing nor act. I'm not that much of a dancer either so I'd be limited to say the least." I was surprised that E.J. was offering me what sounded like a job.

"On the contrary Bella. All you would be required to do is accompany different clients to their company parties or similar events. A few smiles here, a little dress up, no big deal."

"So like an escort service?" I ask with disdain coloring my voice.

"I know what you're thinking but it's not sleazy at all. It's more of a high end, pen-pal program really. Besides, you have nothing to lose, and you can get out of it any time you wish, though I don't believe you would want to."

He did have a point there. This opportunity just seemed to fall out of the sky. "Alright, no harm in giving it a test run."

**((Wow. While I'm writing about E.J. and his dialogue/thoughts, I'm thinking about what to have him say in this Italian accent. I even almost started spelling words in the British way. Like color as colour instead. It's kinda annoying me...))**


	10. Chapter 10

**((AN: Bella's shield stops edward AND alice from using their abilities on her.))**

Ch.10

_2 months later_

"Wanna go hunting Edward? I got us all some new clothes just for it! I think you'll love what I chose." Alice plopped down on my bed.

"Sorry Alice, I'm just not in the mood right now. I don't know why I have been feeling weird all of a sudden." I stopped reading my book for a moment. For the last two months I felt as if I had been sucked into a black hole. Nothing has changed for me to feel this way at all.

"It's not all of a sudden, it's because you miss her. I do too."

"Miss who Alice?"

"Bella of course."

"How could I possible miss someone that I don't really even know. Besides, she's definitely better off wherever she is. And I don't need your visions to be able to see that." I sighed, folding my hands behind my back.

"You knew what mattered Edward. Besides, I can't see if she is better off now or not. I think her mind blocks my visions as well as your ability." Alice shot up on the bed with a gigantic smile exploding on her face.

"What ever you are thinking, stop."

"But Edward, one little road trip couldn't hurt. We wouldn't even have to let her know we were watching her. I know you want to make sure she's okay as much as I do."

"Let me.."

"Never mind all that, I can already see that you'll agree." Alice jumped up and twirled out of the room completely satisfied that she had her way as usual.

She was right, I did want to see her again. But I'm not sure if I can see her and walk away from her once again. Of course I would have too. By now she was probably on her way to a happy, settled life. And I would be the last to rob her of that, no matter how I desired otherwise.

_Somewhere elsewhere....._

"Come on in Bella." E.J. stepped inside the apartment allowing me to enter. After dinner he brought me to this high end apartment complex. Looking around I noticed that there weren't any signs of previous occupants to be found. The place looked completely new with the exception of it being fully furnished.

It looked like a page right out of a home décor book. Everything was pristine and top of the line. About ten stories up, the view was spectacular.

"So how do you like it?"

"It's beautiful of course. But why exactly are you showing me your home?" I was apprehensive about the whole thing. And rightfully so I believe. He stifled a laugh, and sat on the living room sofa.

"It's not my home. It's your home now, well if you still want the job that is. All my employees receive their own apartment as part of the package."

"Well, even so, I probably wouldn't be able afford the price." I huffed, sitting down next to E.J.

"I'd think everyone can afford free. All you have to do is sign a two year contract agreeing that you'll work for me and no one else and the place is all yours." Opening his briefcase, E.J. pulled out an affidavit. He slid it over to me along with a pen.

"Why do I feel like I'm making a deal with the devil?" I warily take the pen and look over the document.

"You shouldn't feel that way Bella. Besides at least it's a handsome devil." E.J. laughed heartily.

"Before I sign on the dotted line, I'm not agreeing to be your little girlfriend or anything of the sort right?"

"Ha, don't be absurd Bella. I do believe you are a bit too young for my tastes, no offense. This is a legitimate business arrangement. Take your time, read over everything if you're worried."

I picked it up and carefully read every word. As far as I could decipher it was legit. Still, I was slightly nervous about signing my life away for two years. Then again, I had signed 18 years of my life away for far less in return. Having decided that this was the best option for me, I confidently signed my name.

"Perfect. I'm looking forward to working with you Bella. Get settled and I'll call in a few days with your first assignment. Enjoy!" E.J. patted my shoulder and saw himself out the door.

Locking the door, I take everything in now that I'm finally alone. My stomach was growling. I didn't feel right eating as much as I really wanted to at that expensive restaurant. I found the kitchen completely stocked. Grabbing a can of tomato sauce and some spaghetti, I start to make myself dinner.

Turning on the tv, I sit down and enjoy the peace. Of course it would be far more pleasant if I had another person to talk to. A roommate at least. E.J. would probably have seen it as inappropriate if I asked him to stay longer, especially now that he is my boss I guess.

Reaching out for the pepper, I wince as soon as I hear it clash on the floor. Remembering where I was and who wasn't here I laugh out loud almost deliriously. Allan would have had my neck for sure, quite literally for things like that. But now, I didn't have to live under constant fear or expectation of punishment. So I was alone in this new city, but I alone was good. After all, I needed to learn how to live like a normal person. And this time, this time I'll be bulletproof. No more suave players sweeping me off my feet. Love is obviously not my cup of tea, and if it was anything like the relationship I just jumped ship from then I wanted nothing to do with it.

Feeling lighthearted and careless, I turn on the radio. Some song comes on called "Funhouse" and I let loose, just dancing around the house. I don't know what, but I think I'm teetering on the edge of something life-altering and great.

**((AN: I know. I haven't updated for what seems like a year.....but in my defense I had midterms! What a nightmare! 'Only' 6 more years of school...great!! Anyway, enough of my pity party. Review please?))**


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

After a few more songs played, I turned off my cd player and crashed in my bedroom. The bedroom was nothing short of massive. There was even a sitting area off to the side of the king sized bed. It had a Moroccan feel to it, adding warmth to what would otherwise be a cold and uninviting place to sleep.

Closing my eyes, I wrap myself up in the oversized bed. I don't see how things could get any better than they were today. It doesn't take long for my eyes, heavy with sleep, to close completely.

Sunlight from the french doors pours throughout the room. My eyes open with the rays hitting them. Sitting up, I recall quite clearly closing the shades. Swinging my legs over the edge of the bed, I cautiously get up and survey the room. A broom leans against a corner and I grab it.

Raising it over my head I leave the room fully prepared to take out whatever loser thinks he can mess with me. Apparently he doesn't know I killed a vampire. I see a shadow on the floor boards and my grip on the boom stick tightens.

I turn the corner, and take a swing aiming for a home run. A hand catches it before contact is made.

"Bashing your boss's head in is certainly not a polite thing to do young lady." EJ says with an amused smirk. Sighing deeply, I let go of the broom.

"EJ! I thought someone broke in. What, what are you doing here? You said you would call, not show up in my living room unannounced. Not to sound ungrateful or anything." I step into the kitchen and turning on the coffee pot.

"No, of course not. And I did call, oh about three times. I take it the apartment is to your liking?"

"Definitely. Thanks again. So you have a job for me?" I ask him. I'm excited to get started and be more self sufficient for a change.

"Yeah, thought I'd start you out on a little job. This client is having a late breakfast with his parents. They've been pestering him about being alone, so he's told them he has a girlfriend. You're going to be his girlfriend. Well, just until his parents go back out of town. So eat something here and I'll give you the address." EJ sat at the breakfast bar.

"But I thought you said we were going to a late breakfast?"

"You are, but no one likes a woman who eats everything in sight, it's just not attractive." EJ looked into my eyes driving home his point. First time I've heard of this but EJ seems to be a worldly man so he must know.

"Well I'm not a big eater anyways." I smile, grabbing an apple and cup of coffee.

"You are far too attractive to be Isabella." I frown at his choice of name for me.

"Well, back to business. What is the client's name Mr. Dimera?" I tilt my head toying with him.

"I thought I told you it is just EJ?"

"And I recall telling you it is just Bella."

"Touché. The client's name is Alan Kingsley. He's a twenty eight year old entrepreaneur. Real corporate savvy but a complete and total amateur in the dating scene."

"Alan? How disturbingly ironic." I scoff at the reminder.

"How so?"

"My deadbeat ex-boyfriend's name was Allan." I laughed a little at my pun.

"This won't be a problem will it?" EJ questioned apprehensively.

"Of course not, I don't have any issue being Alan Kinsley's girlfriend of almost 2 years." I smile and take the folder that EJ hands me.

"How did you know he wanted to tell his parents that you'd been together for 2 years?" EJ's eyebrows furrowed with curiosity.

"Well, anything less than a year wouldn't be serious enough to meed the parents and anything over 2 years would be strange as I would have already met them. See, I'm smarter than you thought."

EJ stood up, stretching his tall frame fully out, he comes to a stop directly in front of me. Gently running his hand through my hair, he rests his hand on my shoulder. "I didn't want you to work for me just because of your beauty Bella."

He walks past me and I have to shake the tingling sensation off. The inappropriate tingling sensation. Asshole. People aren't supposed to like their bosses. I have to find someway to make EJ out to be an asshole or I'll never be able to do this job. Trying to convince myself of this, EJ's voice calls me out of my thoughts.

"Here are the keys to your car. You need to leave in an hour, make sure you know what's in Alan's file perfectly. I've programmed my number into your phone but only use it after Alan's parents are gone and then only if necessary. If all goes smoothly, you'll get the first installment of your payment by this evening." He hands me the phone, keys and quickly puts on his jacket.

Stopping in the doorway, he turns for a moment. "Oh, and good luck. I'm sure you'll do perfectly."

It's a shame assholes didn't give you cars, apartments, a second chance and were definitely not the most amazingly charming gentlemen. This is going to be harder than I thought.

**((AN: I'm leaving it open for something to happen between EJ and Bella. It probably won't, but I just like having options for later. I'll try and squeeze in some Edward next chapter!!)) **

**Please Review and lemme know what you think so far! Thanks a ton!**


	12. Chapter 12

Closing the door behind EJ, I run back to my closet. Looking through it I pull out the perfect date dress. It screamed 'girl-next-door' perfectly. Throwing it on, I decide to follow EJ's advice and grab some food while reading over Alan's file.

Sitting in my living room, I learn that Alan and I have been together for two years and three months exactly. He belongs to the who's who of the computer industry. Looking at his picture, he seems kind of cute and surprisingly normal for someone of his stature.

Taking another bite out of my bagel, my mind wanders down memory lane. I can't help but think of the Cullens. It's been a couple of weeks since I've been in Seattle but it seems like I just left them behind yesterday. I can still see Edward's face perfectly. He was the first that seemed to really care, his whole family really.

Shaking the thoughts away, I stand up and clean my plate. I can't allow myself to be so foolish again. The Cullens didn't care about me, no one did. They were just intrigued by Allan and I's relationship. I can't fall back into that destructive path I followed for so long. I have to think about myself. In the end, I am the only one I can truly trust.

Picking up the car keys, I leave for my....appointment...closing the door on any and all thoughts of my past for the time being at least. Driving about 10 minutes, I come across the cafe where I'm supposed to meet Alan Kingsley at. Turning into the small parking lot, I park and take a deep breath.

Once inside, I see someone matching Alan's description, late 20s, blonde and wearing blue rimmed designer glasses. Walking up to him, I wave and introduce myself.

"Hi, I'm Isabella Swan. You're 'girlfriend'." I smile at him.

"Oh, of course. Pleasure to meet you Bella." Alan cocked his head and grinned a little. "Please, take a seat. We still have a little while until my parents arrive."

I sat in the chair he pulled out for me and waited for him to do the same. "So I noticed you called me Bella."

"Yeah, EJ Dimera said you preferred that, excuse me." Alan turned to the approaching waitress, "Hi, we'll have two latte's please. Thanks."

"Yes. So I've read from your file that you are a real big video gamer? Perhaps that's why you have trouble with the ladies. Poor time allocation. Because honestly you don't look too bad." I smiled.

"I don't know, I do go out. It's just, I never seem to find anyone with...substance. Millions of women flock to me the moment I say I'm an entrepreneur, but I want some one whose on the same level as I am."

"So, you want more of a colleague rather than arm candy? That's respectable. Now, where was our 'first date?'" I ask him. From television I've found that the parents always are interested in the details.

"I don't know...where do you think it should be?"

"Oh I know! We met for coffee and after we strolled the galleries of the Seattle Art Museum. To end it off, we had a light dinner at the Luxe hotel before you dropped me off at my apartment."

"Wow, I see I've got my money's worth with you!" Alan eyes were shinning with excitement.

"Now for how we met in the first place, we could say we crossed paths through our jobs. Your company was celebrating the release of a new software product and I was the party planner. We started talking and just hit it off, instant chemistry." I close my eyes trying to see if I'm leaving anything out.

"Perfect, ah, here are my parents now." Alan stands up to greet them and I follow suit.

"Mom, Dad, here is my wonderful girlfriend I was telling you about!" Alan slid his around my waist. I sinked into his hold like it was the most normal thing to do.

"Bella! You are more handsome than Alan described. Believe me, he wasn't just telling us about you, he was positively gushing!" Mrs. Kinglsey assured me. She certainly was quite bubbly.

The late breakfast progressed well to a late lunch. It ended as best as anyone could expect. The Kingsley's wanted to have a dinner at their place but Mr. Kingsley was going on a business trip for the next two weeks.

"Well, we will just have to do dinner after my husbands trip. It'll be so much fun!" Mrs. Kingsley went on and on.

Alan's parents left before us. He paid the bill and got our coats. Peering out the window, I saw that it had started to rain a little.

"Don't worry about it, I'll drop you off Bella. It's the least I can do after how well that went!"

_Edward's Volvo_

"Why did you want to come all the way to Seattle again Edward?" Emmett poked my shoulder from the backseat constantly.

"For the millionth time Emmett, I just want to make sure Bella's okay. You really didn't have to come, you know Rosalie is going to be pissed when you get back."

"Which is why I came. Angry sex is the best!"

"Dammit Emmett, quit thinking about it or I swear I'll rip your favorite body part off!" I barked. Emmett instantly backed down to my relief and his own safe being.

"Oh there's Bella's apartment on the right Edward." Alice pointed to me. _The Olivian_ was obviously a high-scale condomonium. I have no idea how Bella could afford such a place. She had taken Allan's money and car before leaving Forks, but surely that couldn't have sustained her enough for this place. At least not longer than five months.

"Are you sure this is her new address?" I looked to Alice for answers.

"Yeah, but I don't know how she can afford it. Or what she is doing to afford it."

"She wouldn't do that. There has to be an perfectly sound and plausible explanation for it."

"For what? I hate your closed conversations, tell me!!!!" Emmett whined playfully.

"Well, I'll go up and if she doesn't mind I'll call for the two of you. I don't want to overwhelm her with our sudden appearance." I opened the door.

"Makes since bro."

"Good luck Edward." Alice smiled at me, I know she is itching to come up as well.

I walk at a normal pace to fifth floor, room 518. I hoped it was the right address, it took long enough to find this place and each passing seconds, I'm getting even more anxious. Taking in a gulp of useless air, I'm actually nervous at seeing Bella again. Which is highly irrational, I have no logical reason of being unnerved by a nineteen year old girl, a human one at that.

Well, here goes nothing.

_Bella's apartment_

After Allan dropped me home, I decided to take a nice, relaxing shower. Getting out, I dressed and picked out a movie to watch while awaiting EJ's phone call. Instead, I hear a knock at the door. I guess he decided to drop by instead. Can't say I minded, I know I did a good job today and he couldn't possibly have anything but a shower of compliments for me.

What I find opening the door surprises me. "Edward? Um, what are you doing here?"

He smiled that same small, crooked smile that you couldn't help but love. He seemed apprehensive about being here.

"I just, I wanted to....Bella, I wanted to make sure you were doing okay. But from the looks of things you're doing just fine?" Edward looked into my apartment as much as possible. He, along with his family, were essentially the only ones that have been on my side as of late. Well, EJ is as well.

"Come in, take a look around." Stepping aside, I invite him in. Edward scanned every inch of every room. Coming back to the living room, we both took a seat on the same couch.

"No offense, but how can you afford this?"

"By an extreme stroke of luck. When I first got to Seattle, I met this young entrepreneur at a cafe, EJ Dimera. He runs this...escort agency called Mystic. Anyways, he pays for this apartment and utilities and all I have to do is escort some guys to different parties and things." I smiled, figuring Edward would be impressed at me landing such a wonderful job.

Instead he just frowned. "You're in an _escort_ service? Bella, you don't have to do that."

"I really don't see why you disapprove Edward. It's a good job, with even better perks. Especially since I don't have any skills really."

"My family could have easily helped you get into a more respectable job. There's no need to cheapen yourself..."

"Cheapen? I'm not doing anything wrong! I didn't think I had to please you or your family Edward. After all, we are hardly friends." I snapped back. I've had enough of this holier-than-thou attitude. Especially one coming from a vampire.

Edward's mouth opened prepared to respond when another knock landed upon my door. "Just a moment."

It turned out to be who I originally expected. EJ smiled at me in greeting. "Hello Isabella, sorry, I mean Bella. I thought we could have a little debriefing." EJ leaned in and kissed my cheek.

"You're not busy are you?" EJ asked, he still hadn't seen Edward in the living room.

"Um. Not really, but I do have...company. Company who I'm pretty sure is leaving now though." I glanced over to Edward. He looked back just as defiantly. Sighing, I decide to fold first.

"Thanks for checking up on me Edward, I appreciate it." I walk with him to the front door, leaving EJ now in the living room. "I just don't appreciate you trying to tell me what to do. Alan did that enough for a lifetime."

"I know, just be careful. Call me if you need anything, anytime." I simply nodded at Edward and closed the door behind him.

Refocusing on EJ, I join him in the living room. He was smiling at me as if he knew some secret.

"So is that one of your boyfriends? I knew there was more to you than you were letting on."

"No, Edward helped me through my disaster of a relationship with Alan."

EJ's head tilted and I knew he didn't believe me. "Anyway, Allan Kingsley called me a few hours ago and he's requested that you escort him to a few more events. I tell you what, I'm so impressed with you results that I'll take you off the probationary period after your next appointment. How's that sound?"

"That sounds wonderful EJ!! Thanks so much!" I was so excited to hear how well I did. Maybe this is what I am meant to do. Who knows. Suddenly filled with energy, I throw my arms around EJ's neck and hug him. Releasing the hold, I can feel EJ sliding his hands to my sides. Our heads pull back just far enough to see each other's eyes really well. His hands shift to the sides of my head and slowly we both lean in. I can feel my heart thumping wildly in my chest. Finally our lips meet and it's the fourth of July bigger than ever.

**((Yay, I updated! I've been real busy with college. And...finals are coming up so I'm going to be even busier. But....but! When I do update next, I promise it will be a nice quality chapter! Now, review please?))**


	13. Chapter 13

**So a reviewer brought to my attention how badly the last chapter was. Honestly, this whole story, the style of it, isn't my usual and is below par from my past stories. But, now that I'm more aware of it, hopefully how I really write will show through. **

**So in lieu of that, I'm gonna dedicate this chapter to: puddleduck61**

**Chapter 13**

My mind was filled with fog. I wasn't conscious of anything around me, only EJ. Somehow the rush of the kiss relaxed all my past qualms. EJ was the first to pull apart. Where's the rewind button? I'm pretty sure I'd like to be a professional kisser only to EJ. But suddenly, looking at EJ's inscrutable face, a lightbulb flashes.

"Oh my God. That was so inappropriate I shouldn't have done that. It uh...it just felt so right." I clamped my lips together. EJ was now beyond amused.

"You're correct, you shouldn't have but then again, it's not like I stopped you." EJ's finger found it's way in my hair. The space between us stayed nonexistent.

"So, um..." I rambled off. Really, what could I say next?

"Now this, would really be inappropriate." EJ didn't waste time leaning in to me and kissing me again. Again it was nothing short of intense. He pushed me back on the sofa and I could feel his fingers toying the buttons of my shirt.

I know this needs to stop but I can't find the willpower to push the brakes. I need to give this some amount of effort though, so I push against EJ's shoulders. He's hesitant to separate.

"EJ..." I pant trying to catch my breath. He stares into my eyes with such certainty. Determined yet gentle and caring.

"I take it you want to stop? I really don't Bella, but if you're uncomfortable then I will leave right now." EJ promised. The way he was so concerned about my wants and needs was something I've never experienced with Allan or anyone really. I guess Edward and his family cared, but I don't think I would ever be able to trust a vampire again. Our worlds are just too different and it doesn't make sense for a vampire to wish to befriend a human for anything other than selfish reasons. Even if the Cullens truly were genuine, I would not allow myself to experience such pain ever again.

"Don't stop." I said, sealing whatever fate lied in my future be it good or bad. EJ smiled and lifted me easily into his arms. Once he finished unbuttoning my shirt, we all but attacked each other. Moving further along, EJ stopped briefly, hovering above me on the bed.

"I know you haven't really learned what it means to love or more specifically be loved. But I would like the opportunity to show you and treat you right. I just thought you should know that this isn't an employer taking advantage of his employee, because normally I have strict standards against this. But there's just some invisible pull, or control that you have over me Isabella Swan."

"Enough with the mushy stuff Mr. Dimera. I do believe there is a deal at hand that requires your immediate attention!"

Honestly, the kissing and all the obviously inappropriate behavior wasn't what was making me uncomfortable. It was what EJ was saying to me. I didn't want love, I couldn't handle that not now and perhaps not ever. All I wanted was some physical, something that would allow me to feel something other than well, nothing.

EJ ran his index finger slowly down my lips, ending well below there. The way his eyes stayed glued to mine, it was as if I was the only living soul in the universe. As if I was the light at the end of his tunnel and he would do almost anything to reach said light. No, as if he would never stop short of doing anything to reach his light.

His determination knew no ends. The room sounded like an orchestra and EJ was the conductor. With a few more flicks of the conductor's baton, the symphony was brought to a blissful end and we both fell into a careless slumber.

Weeks had passed since that night. EJ and I continued our relationship. Though it was purely physical I think it satisfied both of us equally. My job probation was lifted and I was one of Mystic's best employees. Well at least in Northwestern America.

My current job assignment, I was supposed to be this guy's personal secretary. It would be fine and all if he didn't work at home. In all reality I guess I wasn't anything more than a glorified call girl.

Picking up my client's groceries from an all night store, I quickly pay for it and walk out into the rain.

"Need an umbrella?" I turned around to find Edward right behind me. I haven't thought about the Cullens really since.....alright, since yesterday. I missed seeing how they loved each other, how strong their sense of family was. Still as much as I did, I would never belong with them, and it was better to accept that now and deal with the longing.

"Thanks. What are you doing around here?"

"Can't really stay in Forks all the time. Think of all the animals in this area that would become extinct, I don't think Emmett could live without his bear necessities." Edward's shoulder bumped into mine as we walked down the sidewalk.

"That was kind of corny."

"My apologies my dear Bella. So how is your...job? Still meeting your expectations?" Edward was still harping on my 'profession.'

"No, but it's getting me by. And at least I'm making it on my own which is a lot more than I could have said last year."

Edward simply clenched his jaw. I didn't have to read minds to know that he was dying to put in his opinion.

"And before you have to comment, yes, you were right. This job is horrible but at least I have some independence and control over something. These clients rely and depend on me for what they want. And I can hold that over their heads as much as I want. And while it may be wrong, I like how it feels. Do you know how awful and painful, not to mention humiliating it was when I was with Allan? I will never allow myself to be in a situation where I'm so degraded again." I sighed deeply. I hadn't realized how hard I had been breathing.

Cold hands found their place on both of my arms. With a soft glint in his eye, Edward spoke with a warm candor.

"Bella, I understand you've been hurt. But closing yourself off like that is no way to live. You are going to miss out on so many wonderful things that life has to offer that way. All I'm asking of you Bella is to spend a little time with me and my family. Let us show you what it's like to truly be happy."

"Why do you care so much Edward?"

"Why wouldn't I? You are like the missing piece and ever since I've met you I can't stop thinking about you. I can't stop wondering if you're okay, if you're happy and I can safely speak for all of my family by saying that they too want to see you. Though I believe my longing for your company is far more potent. We'll never hurt you I promise you that."

A stray tear fell from the corner of my eye. I'm still not sure if I can trust Edward or his family, but it is undeniable that they have remain in my thoughts every night.

"I hope you prove yourself trustworthy and I hope I'm not fooling myself with believing you."

Edward's eyes lit up with satisfaction. Forgetting the umbrella, Edward joyously engulfed me in a frozen hug.

"I promise you won't regret this."

I hope I don't.

**((AN: I need to create some kind of conflict....hm....well anyway, I'm happy with this chapter and I hope you are too.))**


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

"Well, I guess I'll see you tomorrow?" Butterflies attacked the walls of my stomach, increasing in numbers proportionally with the time passing. Leaving the cover of Edward's umbrella, I start in the direction of my condo.

"How about you come over tonight? It's not like anyone will be sleeping." He chuckled at his own joke.

"EJ has this returning client for me in the morning and he always picks me up for it. So, I kinda hafta be their when he comes." I mumbled.

"So you just exchanged one master for another I see. You can't let him control your life Bella, you deserve better than that."

"For crying out loud Edward! I'm not letting him control anything, but he is my boss and I can't just not show up for a job without at least giving him the respect of knowing I won't be working for him any longer. I'll do this job, I'll give EJ my notice and then I'll be able to give this a fair shot."

"Fine, but call me once you're ready. You'd never be able to find our house." Edward huffed and carried on to his Volvo. I watched his car whiz off before I walked back.

Unlocking my door, I find EJ on my couch. By the looks of it, he has been here for awhile.

"Where have you been Isabella?" EJ's voice was stern and cold. Frowning, I throw my bag down. It's none of his concern where I am off hours.

"I was out, with a friend. What are you doing here? You can't just invite yourself in to my home."

EJ stood, stretching his six feet, and wiped his face with his hand. Letting out a condescending laugh, EJ let me his true thoughts be known.

"Bella, my dear, this is my home. I'm simply allowing you to live here remember?" his hand fell on my shoulder and disgust ran through my bones.

"Well don't go out of your way for me anymore. I'm leaving." I spit out. Looks like I'll be calling Edward sooner than tomorrow. Opening my cell, I dial Edward's number. Before I knew it, EJ snatched the phone out of my hand and shut it.

"Who do you think you were calling? There's no one that can help you Bella. You do realize that I own you in all sense of the word for the next two years?"

"What? You can't make me stay and I won't. You'll just have to find another puppet for your sick amusement." Turning around, I go to the door. All of a sudden I am spun around and feel my back hit the cold wall. My stunned eyes meet EJ's furious ones.

"We made a deal Isabella. A legally binding one at that, and unless I say otherwise you're mine. Now, go wash up you look horrible." EJ carelessly threw me to the side. Losing my balance I fall on my leg in an awkward manner.

Coming back tonight was such a mistake. Edward had been more right often times than not, why couldn't I have just listened to him this one time? Trying to stand, a sharp pain flies through my right leg. Great, I'm pretty sure it is sprained if not broken.

"Oh look at that, looks like you will need another girl to see your client Mr Dimera. You broke my leg, bastard." I spoke with venom in my voice.

"I'm a bastard? The man who brought you up out of nothing? You ungrateful little twat." EJ's anger rose several degrees. Again, he picked me up roughly by my shoulders.

"If it weren't for me, you'd be rotting on the streets right now. You know what, I think you owe me a display of gratitude."

EJ let go of me and I limped over to the barstool in the kitchen. Once in the seat, I noticed EJ taking off his belt. An idea pops in my mind when I see EJ's cell phone on top of the counter.

"You're right, and I'm sorry. Let me clean up for you and then I'll really show you how much I appreciate all you have done." I smile as sweetly as I am able to muster. Slyly swiping the phone off the counter, I head off to the bathroom.

Once inside, I make sure the door is locked before limping over to sit on the edge of the tub. My hand is shaking as I skim over the numbers, fearfully realizing that I don't know Edward's number by heart. Closing my eyes, I will the numbers to come to me somehow. I can't go back out there to what EJ's planning on doing to me.

Settling on a number, I count on pure luck that it leads to Edward. Three long rings and I hear the voice of a frail old woman. "Sorry wrong number." I mutter and defeatedly hang up.

Ten minutes have passed and I'm still at a loss of what to do. A loud banging appears on the door.

"Bella, the longer you wait, the more anxious I'm going to be. Come on out, you didn't mind it before." EJ's heavy british accent floated through the air. The only reason I didn't mind it was because I had no other way out before. But I knew things would be worse if I stayed in here any longer.

Steadying myself on the wall, I left the safety of the bathroom taking a deep breath. A smug grin graced EJ's face as if he knew he would end up the winner. To the victor goes the spoils remains to be true I find.

"It's alright darling, I won't hurt you. Much." EJ chuckled and held out his hand for me to take. I felt sick. If I had such audacity, I could probably puke in that unsuspecting, cruel hand. Tired of my reluctance, EJ roughly grabs my hands and yanks me closer to him.

"Wait!" I plead.

"Waiting is all I have been doing Bella." EJ pulled my shoulders, hoisting me up to his height. My feet are now dangling from the ground. Waisting no more time, EJ crashes his lips to mine. The kiss is angry and absent of any love or passion whatsoever.

I hear a whooshing sound and before I realize it, I fall back to the ground. Focusing my sight on what is happening in front of my, I gasp to see Edward holding EJ up against the wall by his throat. A feral look that I couldn't have imagined to have ever been worn by Edward is clearly broadcasted.

"You're going to regret ever laying a finger on Bella." Edward's voice was colored with threat.

"So you're the boyfriend eh? Here's some advice, get out while you can. She'll drain the life outta you." EJ chocked out. I heard Edward growl followed by some nasty gurgling sounds from EJ again.

Using the wall as leverage, I pull myself up. Hobbling over to Edward, I see the fear in EJ's eyes. A look that I was familiar with all too well. Gently placing a hand on Edward's arm, I can't be responsible for another death. No matter how deserved it may be.

"Let him go Edward. Please."

He stares into my eyes curiously before letting go. EJ falls to his knees gasping for breath. It's funny how easily the tables can turn.

"Thank you." EJ wheezes out. Edward simply huffs, his fists still tight with fury. Wordlessly, I hop over to his briefcase and search for my contract, my chains. Successfully finding them, I hand them to him.

"Tear them up."

I wait as he gladly follows my instructions. He gazes up at me planning on saying something else. Perhaps more insincere words of gratefulness.

"I didn't stop him from killing you because I felt sorry or merciful for you. I stopped him because I can't have anymore blood on my hands. Regardless of how much I may have enjoyed wearing yours on mine."

Pulling out my keys, I finger them briefly. Taking off the key to the condo and the car, I throw them, letting them hit the floorboards in front of EJ's sprawled legs. I smile up at Edward who's now back to his reserved form.

"Let's get out of here." Edward's arm slipped around my back, helping me walk.

"Let's."

**((AN: So one more chapter left, I'm really not happy with this story but oh well.))**


	15. Chapter 15

_**So a little author's note here. Don't kill me!**_

_**I am writing but it's going slowly. Becoming Bella has 3 pages already wrote I just have to type it and upload it to the story. But Twilight: What If is ½ way finished. I was gonna upload it anyway but I figured it would be better if I finished and was thurough with it then rushing it. One of these stories WILL be up this weekend! Pinky promise! :)**_


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 15

The car ride was silent. My eyes were glued to the window and all I could think of was that first time I met Alan when I ran away from my parent's accident to the playground. It seemed that that one encounter had decided my fate. Perhaps I would have been better off going into an orphanage. There is really no point in pondering the what if's this late in the game but it is honestly unavoidable it seems.

Edward is steadily looking ahead at the road. What now? Do I befriend another vampire? One thing that mortal men and vampires hold in common is their ability to abuse me. It's like that's embedded in the male DNA. For once and for all it is time that I stand on my own two feet. Just like that saying I heard on tv once "trust no one."

A grand mansion materialized and gravel could be heard crunching under the volvo's tires signaling we were coming t a stop. No time was wasted as Edward was out of te car and holding my door open for me.

"Don't worry Bella, my family will love having you with us." Edward extended his hand to me and I accepted it.

"Oh, after Alan and EJ Dimera, I'm sure the Cullen household will be a walk in a park." This was the only thing that I am sure of in this moment. The Cullens were grouped around the door, ready to greet me.

"Bella, we are pleased that you decided to live with us." Carlisle grinned and spoke warmly on everyone's behalf. There was this spark of genuine concern and honesty that baffled me more than I could handle. My mouth opened but words had failed me.

I glared to Edward for some form of help or guidance. A normal person would just say thank you and move on but I have officially concluded long ago that I have never been normal. Edward gently rubs my shoulder reassuringly. I look back to Carlisle and go for round two.

"Um....that's really..." I choke out. Those psychotic butterflies are still buzzing around in my stomach. All of a sudden, without warning the nerves die down and I find my voice as if the sun is lighting up the path. "What I'm getting at is, I really appreciate this and I won't overstay my welcome at all." I frown slightly, confused at these sudden flights of calm that have arived completely out of left field. A single, linear though strikes me as I flick my attention to Jasper. His face turns,becoming interested in his shoes with such intensity. I recall that he can manipulate emotions at will. Not even five minutes of eing here and they are already toying with me. The anger flared within me like a solar flare.

"This was such a mistake! Stay out of my head and away from me!" I yelled before running out into the woods. Finding a fallen log, I plop down on it. I can't believe I've been tricked again. I stepped right into it. Fool me once, shame on ou but fool me twice and the same is all on me. The wind swims through my hair. Knowing the air was stagnate before, I take a guess at who came to try and woo me back tot he house.

"Edward. Please, just go away. I can't take anymore, I can't keep being played by every single person I come across like some damn fiddle." I sigh, resting my face in the palms of my hands.

"It's Esme honey. I know you are upset but Jasper truly didn't mean any harm. He just wants you to feel safe and comfortable with us. We all do." Esme slowly took steps towards me. Anger still dwelled within me but I couldn't bring myself to act crass with her. Her whole being explicitly screamed mother in every language out there.

"Mind if I sit down for a little while?" Deeply exhaling, I scoot over and allow her to sit next to me.

"go ahead and say whatever it is you feel you need to say but it won't change anything. My mind is made up." I murmur knowing full well that she heard me clear as day.

"Out of all my family, I've had the least opportunity to know you or even talk to you really. But feel like I know who you are through the smile in Edward's eyes everytime he mentions you, or the hope in Jasper's and the happiness in Alice's steps. When I was human, I lost my baby before she was even born. The devastation clouded my existence. Nothing and no one mattered to me. Not even my fiance who went to the ends of the Earth to try and make me feel better. All I could think of was my child who's laugh I would never hear. Life was simply too painful, and so I jumped off a cliff"

"Wow, I'm sorry I didn't know that." Insert awkward moment here. Not too sure of what else to say.

"I didn't tell you that for pity Bella. What I'm getting at is that as false as it seems, life is about th bigger pictre and sometimes shutting out the world is the worst thing you could do in the long run no matter how appealing it may be in the present. I know you've been burned more times than not in your young life but sometimes you can't get to a better place until you walk through that fire."

"I understand what you are saying Esme, but I just need some time and space to think about everything." I smile at her and she returns a more sympathetic one.

"Of course. Just don't stay out here too long, it's not safe out here in the dark." Esme stood and returned to her home.

In my opinion, it isn't safe anywhere. People, or shall I just say beings are by far the most dangerous animal than these woods could ever hold. Esme said that the wold was more then just me, and I had to take into account other people in the scenario.

But that's all I've ever done, it has never been about my feelings or whatever. Now that I finally 'freed' myself from all former oppressors, its high time I take care of myself first. As caring as Edward and his family seem to be, I can't allow myself to trust in that. After all, Alan was caring and loving in the beginning as well. The same could be said for E.J. Dimera. So I'll stay with the Cullens for the first time being as long as it's beneficial, but I can't logically place any emotional stock or value in any so-called relationship with them. Even Edward Cullen.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 15

The car ride was silent. My eyes were glued to the window and all I could think of was that first time I met Alan when I ran away from my parent's accident to the playground. It seemed that that one encounter had decided my fate. Perhaps I would have been better off going into an orphanage. There is really no point in pondering the what if's this late in the game but it is honestly unavoidable it seems.

Edward is steadily looking ahead at the road. What now? Do I befriend another vampire? One thing that mortal men and vampires hold in common is their ability to abuse me. It's like that's embedded in the male DNA. For once and for all it is time that I stand on my own two feet. Just like that saying I heard on tv once "trust no one."

A grand mansion materialized and gravel could be heard crunching under the volvo's tires signaling we were coming t a stop. No time was wasted as Edward was out of te car and holding my door open for me.

"Don't worry Bella, my family will love having you with us." Edward extended his hand to me and I accepted it.

"Oh, after Alan and EJ Dimera, I'm sure the Cullen household will be a walk in a park." This was the only thing that I am sure of in this moment. The Cullens were grouped around the door, ready to greet me.

"Bella, we are pleased that you decided to live with us." Carlisle grinned and spoke warmly on everyone's behalf. There was this spark of genuine concern and honesty that baffled me more than I could handle. My mouth opened but words had failed me.

I glared to Edward for some form of help or guidance. A normal person would just say thank you and move on but I have officially concluded long ago that I have never been normal. Edward gently rubs my shoulder reassuringly. I look back to Carlisle and go for round two.

"Um....that's really..." I choke out. Those psychotic butterflies are still buzzing around in my stomach. All of a sudden, without warning the nerves die down and I find my voice as if the sun is lighting up the path. "What I'm getting at is, I really appreciate this and I won't overstay my welcome at all." I frown slightly, confused at these sudden flights of calm that have arived completely out of left field. A single, linear though strikes me as I flick my attention to Jasper. His face turns,becoming interested in his shoes with such intensity. I recall that he can manipulate emotions at will. Not even five minutes of eing here and they are already toying with me. The anger flared within me like a solar flare.

"This was such a mistake! Stay out of my head and away from me!" I yelled before running out into the woods. Finding a fallen log, I plop down on it. I can't believe I've been tricked again. I stepped right into it. Fool me once, shame on ou but fool me twice and the same is all on me. The wind swims through my hair. Knowing the air was stagnate before, I take a guess at who came to try and woo me back tot he house.

"Edward. Please, just go away. I can't take anymore, I can't keep being played by every single person I come across like some damn fiddle." I sigh, resting my face in the palms of my hands.

"It's Esme honey. I know you are upset but Jasper truly didn't mean any harm. He just wants you to feel safe and comfortable with us. We all do." Esme slowly took steps towards me. Anger still dwelled within me but I couldn't bring myself to act crass with her. Her whole being explicitly screamed mother in every language out there.

"Mind if I sit down for a little while?" Deeply exhaling, I scoot over and allow her to sit next to me.

"go ahead and say whatever it is you feel you need to say but it won't change anything. My mind is made up." I murmur knowing full well that she heard me clear as day.

"Out of all my family, I've had the least opportunity to know you or even talk to you really. But feel like I know who you are through the smile in Edward's eyes everytime he mentions you, or the hope in Jasper's and the happiness in Alice's steps. When I was human, I lost my baby before she was even born. The devastation clouded my existence. Nothing and no one mattered to me. Not even my fiance who went to the ends of the Earth to try and make me feel better. All I could think of was my child who's laugh I would never hear. Life was simply too painful, and so I jumped off a cliff"

"Wow, I'm sorry I didn't know that." Insert awkward moment here. Not too sure of what else to say.

"I didn't tell you that for pity Bella. What I'm getting at is that as false as it seems, life is about th bigger pictre and sometimes shutting out the world is the worst thing you could do in the long run no matter how appealing it may be in the present. I know you've been burned more times than not in your young life but sometimes you can't get to a better place until you walk through that fire."

"I understand what you are saying Esme, but I just need some time and space to think about everything." I smile at her and she returns a more sympathetic one.

"Of course. Just don't stay out here too long, it's not safe out here in the dark." Esme stood and returned to her home.

In my opinion, it isn't safe anywhere. People, or shall I just say beings are by far the most dangerous animal than these woods could ever hold. Esme said that the wold was more then just me, and I had to take into account other people in the scenario.

But that's all I've ever done, it has never been about my feelings or whatever. Now that I finally 'freed' myself from all former oppressors, its high time I take care of myself first. As caring as Edward and his family seem to be, I can't allow myself to trust in that. After all, Alan was caring and loving in the beginning as well. The same could be said for E.J. Dimera. So I'll stay with the Cullens for the first time being as long as it's beneficial, but I can't logically place any emotional stock or value in any so-called relationship with them. Even Edward Cullen.

Hoisting myself off the log, I head back to the Cullen mansion. More than ever, I was determined to follow through with my plan. The wind begins to pick up and I zip up my light blue jacket.

"Hi Bella, we were starting to worry about you. Is everything alright?" Carlisle asked. Dr. Cullen, I have to remember to call him Dr. Cullen. I can't form any kind of formal attachments to these people or it will just be that much easier to get pulled in to their trap.

"Yes, everything is find Dr. Cullen, I was just taking time to consider my options. And I have decided that I will stay with your family. That is if the offer still stands." Seeing every one crowding around me almost in an anxious manner, I slide out of the spotlight to a nearby couch.

"Feel free to call me Carlisle, we don't have to be so formal among family." Dr. Carlisle attempted to persuade me to his idea of family.

"Not to be offensive or rude, but I'm not family. I mean we really don't even know one another that well and I'd feel more comfortable addressing you and your wife as Dr. and Mrs. Cullen." I smiled politely.

"Whatever makes you more at ease darling." Esme tacked on smiling her sickeningly sweet smile that made it impossible for anyone to deny her. Well anyone except me. I know better now, I know better than to trust someone no matter what appearances look like. Because at the end of the day that is all it is, appearances and games.

"So is there a room I'm going to be in or do you expect me to sleep on the floor? Cause I do sleep after all." I could almost feel the blonde wincing at my snide remark. The brunette brute beside her was trying to comfort her curiously enough. Did my comment really affect her that much? A small amount of guilt filled my conscious but as quickly as it came, it dissipated.

Edward was standing beside his 'father' so I had an easy view of him. He didn't seem very pleased of my attitude as his lips formed a perfect line during his grimace. Whatever, these people are going to regret inviting me in and attempting to fool me with this charade.

"Why don't I show you up to your room, I'm sure you must be tired. Today was a long day." Alice pushed enthusiasm into her voice. Her normally perky attitude seemed strained and forced now.

Wordlessly I followed and climbed the steps. Stopping at what I assume to be my door, I open up to reveal a carefully laid out bedroom set. A soft color scheme of purple and white accent the bed and walls. It isn't difficult to see who's project this had been, but while Alice's personality is a complete 180 of mine, this room suited me almost perfectly.

"It's nice." I offer a small sort of peace offering. A sparkle fills Alice eye as if she may have just reached me. I'll let her think what she wants, however wrong it may be.

"No problem Bella, if you want or need anything just call okay?" Alice was already starting to leave. I guess my nonhuman power is to get people away from me. Too bad I couldn't discover this ability before.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 16

Touring the thoughtfully planned room, a small smile sneaks onto my face as I see a small note. Noticing it, I quickly whisk it away. Curiosity catches the best of me as I skim over the carefully worded letter that, of course, came from Edward. He was either an idiot and could get the idea that I didn't want anything to do with him, or he was simply determined to win me over to his family.

And if there was anything I was certain of, it is that vampires are far from stupid. Edward Cullen was certainly no exception.

I finally make my way to the firm bed and crash onto it. Closing my eyes for the briefest of moments, I could easily drift off. I can't help but wonder what the Cullens are thinking only a level below me.

"What's up with Bella? I mean we kind of save her life. The way she's acting, you'd think we did the exact opposite." Emmett frowned, honestly perplexed at their new guests' behavior.

"She is merely being cautious Emmett, I'm sure once she sees that we are continuing to be genuine that she will open up more. That poor girl has been through a lot, especially for her age."

Alice came jolting down the stairs calm but hopeful about Bella coming around. "Yes she has, I couldn't imagine going through all that and even beginning to trust someone else. I would never trust anyone ever again. At least I don't think I could."

"She has no reason to trust us, but I can only hope that she does. I feel some sort of connection to her, almost as if I'm responsible for her in some sort of way."

"_To Bella,_

_You may feel that you are weak, but you are not defeated"_

I frowned at the words elegantly scripted on the front of the letter. So I guess he thinks I'm weak, well I will show him otherwise. A sigh escapes my lips as I realize that while Edward is right, he is also wrong at the same time. I am weak and I am definitely defeated. My whole existence has been a huge mess and I don't see that changing anytime soon.

"_In an attempt to stand in your shoes, I understand how absurd and perhaps how dangerous even it seems to give your trust to anyone let alone a vampire family. But think about that in itself. You've known vampires to be cruel, and self-servicing. Those are traits that would break even the strongest of blood related families Bella. _

_None of us wanted this life but alas it was the hand in which we were dealt. We choose to make the best of it. We choose to coexist with mankind as peacefully as possible. Because at the end of the day, it is us who do not belong, it is their world and we know that and we accept that. _

_You and only you are the driver of your future, you can decide your fate. All I wish is for the best for you. Whether that be with us or on your own, though honestly I hope you choose us. Because we have chosen you Bella, we sincerely want to see the day you genuinely smile and laugh. Laughter is life's music and I long to hear your's. Whenever you are ready, I will be here for you and I promise to wait for however long that may be. I have forever after all. _

_Respectfully and Hopefully yours,_

_Edward Cullen"_

Things just got more complicated. Lies, Edward's words are just carefully thought out lies. I have to believe that or my plan will be for naught. I hear sounds erupting from my stomach signaling I have failed to eat for quite awhile. Pushing myself forward I force myself to descend down the stairs and meet with the Cullens much too soon since last time.

They were all crowded around the sofa in their living room solemn with thought it appeared. Esme was first to break from the trance like state and approached me with a warm smile.

"Bella honey, is something wrong?" She reached for my shoulder but I skillfully avoided the unneeded contact that a mother would have surely bestowed upon child.

"Nothing is wrong. I just came down to get something to eat." I motioned to the kitchen, prepared to follow through with my mentioned activity.

"Don't worry about it Bella, let me make you something. I love cooking but I never have anyone to cook for. This will be the perfect opportunity. Why don't you watch the tv with the others?" Esme's tone begged for my acceptance. Simply nodding, I consider returning to my room for the time being.

Edward impedes my way, his eyes staring into my imploringly. For a moment, it is like I stole his mind reading ability, knowing that he is thinking of his letter.

"Have you received my letter I placed in your room Bella?" He was so hopeful and I could not bear to look him in the eye and say anything that was remotely cold and unfeeling. So I turned to the living room before replying.

"Yes, I got your letter." I simply state and go take a seat next to the vampire named Emmett. A ridiculous smile graces his face as if he won some sort of lottery by my presence beside him.

"So what kind of tv do you like Bella? Action is my favorite." Emmett asked flipping through the channels at a pace that seemed slower than normal for him, or for them rather.

"I don't know. I haven't watched tv really." It was an innocent enough question but the more I thought of it really, the more sullen and morose I felt as the seconds ticked on the clock. Allan had practically forbidden any outside influences. Not that I hadn't sneaked a few times and seen something quite strange, something about a live sponge living in a pineapple under water, but those few times had brought nothing but pain upon Allan's discovery.

Snapping brought me out of my flashback of sorts and refocusing my vision I saw it was Jasper who was vying for my attention. Frowning slightly at him in question, I excuse my lapse of consciousness.

"Everything alright? You felt somewhat pained, upset." Jasper's voice was soft and of course just as alluring as the typical vampire's voice should be.

"Just thinking about something that happened a long time ago. Well, not that long of a time ago actually. I'm fine. Sorry if I called you any amount of discomfort." I remembered that Jasper, as an empath, could feel other's feelings as if it was happening to him as well to an unknown extent.

"I understand." Jasper simply stated, cocking his head to side revealing a very faint scar that started on his jaw and ran down underneath his shirt. Actually looking at Jasper for the first time I saw many scars adorned his otherwise perfect form. I saw that perhaps Jasper did understand instead of giving some empty, mindless reassurement.

"Thanks." I gave him a sort of whisper, half way mouth to him. I get a nod in return.

"Action is fine Emmett."

"Yes!!!" Emmett shoots his hand in the air in victory and settles back into whatever it is that he's watching. I can't help but laugh at his childlike sense of enjoyment.

Carlisle came waltzing in with a grin full of self-satisfaction on his face. Looking at the time, I notice that it's 9:20. A normal doctor would have anything but a smile upon his face. He held a folder filled with what I assume was paperwork and marched into the living room, coming to a stop in front of me.

"Hi Bella, how was your day?" he anxiously asked.

"Um...it was an okay day I guess. Yours?"

"Someone quit at work. Well she was more fired than quit actually."

I tilted my head, not quite getting why Carlisle was so pleased with himself. "Someone was fired and you are happy about it? Not to judge, but that's a bit sadistic Carlisle."

He chuckled a bit, as did the other Cullens before explaining further. "Not that I'm excited that she is now out of a job, just that it gives the perfect opportunity."

"For..." I see I'm gonna have to drag the main point of the story out, tooth and nail practically.

"I was thinking about your situation. And you said you wanted to gain some independence, get back on your feet. This seems like the perfect doorway to that."

Just as he finished, indignation escaped from Edward's throat and I saw that he was not pleased with Carlisle's offer in the least. His mouth opened and close searching for the right words to say, his eyes flickered to Carlisle and settled on mine, as if imploring me to reject Carlisle's proposition.

Carlisle was right, this is a step to regaining my independence, or getting it back in the first place. I would think, from reading his letter at least, that Edward would be all for this opportunity. I new I had to take up this chance for all that it was worth.

"You're right Carlisle. What would this job entail? I'm pretty interested in it." I smiled.

Carlisle pulled out some sheets from the folder in his hand and gave them to me. "It's a secretarial job. Fairly easy and straightforward. You would be answering phones filing charts and whatnot. There is a training period, but I don't think you should have too much difficulty with it. What do you say?"

The paper work for the job appeared simply enough and I eagerly asked, "Do you have a pen on you?"

Taking it from Esme's wiling hand, I begin to fill out the application to be Forks General Hospital's next up and coming secretary. As I went down the lines, I paused at the availability box. How would I get to work in the first place? My hand hovered over the empty box for a few moments.

"I can drive you to work whenever you need to be. And of course you would like to drive yourself eventually right?"

"Yes that would be great, but I don't know how to drive. Legally I mean, I know where the gas and brake pedals are and not to hit anything but I don't know what all the different signs mean."

"That's no problem, I can teach you how to drive. It'll be fun." Out of all people, it was Rosalie who spoke up. Maybe out of nicety, but probably just so I could get out of her house sooner. I didn't get the feeling that I was one of her top ten favorite people.

"I'd really like that Rosalie, thanks. And thank you Carlisle, I really appreciate this. Besides, now I'll be able to get out of all you guys hair even sooner and let you get back to your way of life." I smiled. This is a win-win situation the way I saw it at least.

"Nonsense Bella, our previous way of life has been nothing short of dull, your stay has been a welcomed interruption of that. I believe I can speak for us all when I say that you are free to stay with us as long as you are willing to grace us with your presence for." Edward stood up adamantly and sat on the table directly in front of me.

Allowing myself to really look at Edward for the first time since, well since he rescued me from Dimera really, I forgot how mind-numbingly beautiful he was. And not only in the basic, vampire beauty way. It was like through his eyes, as cliché as it sounds, his soul shown through. They showed proof that not all vampires were monsters.

I was caught in his trance, unable to break free and unwilling to turn away. "I think I would like that very much. At least I would like to stay longer than I was originally planning."

Edward grabbed my hand and carefully brought it up to his lips to kiss. I couldn't help but slightly blush at his action.

"Alright Bella, I made you some zita bake. It's basically spaghetti, I hope you'll like it." Esme set down the plate of steaming noodles and sauce on a tray in front of me. Thanking her, I pick up the fork and take a cautious bite. For a vampire, Esme is one impressive cook. She goes back to the kitchen to clean up I assume.

Edward moves again to the empty seat next to me, smiling hesitantly at first until I return it.

"It's good. All of this is good. Almost too good to be true really. I think I'm gonna take a walk." Standing up I made my way to the back door.

A cool hand landed upon my shoulder, effectively stopping me. I turn my head to see Edward waiting to ask something I'm sure.

"It's dark out and there are..."

"Things that go bump in the night out there?" I jokingly supply.

"Yes, let me walk with you. At least let me just make sure you are safe, I'll keep five feet behind you if that is what you want. Please, just for my peace of mind if nothing more."

He was right, it was dark and who knows what could be out there. Though I wanted time alone to think of everything, to think of Edward most importantly. Even still, spending time with Edward was something I unwittingly wanted as more time passed.

"Sure. And you don't have to walk five feet behind me."

Walking slowly through the damp forest, we talk about nothing of any importance. It had to have been one of the best conversations that I've held thus far. Edward spoke of all the places he had been and all of the changes throughout time. One thing that surprised me beyond belief. I had thought Edward to be the most settled, well-grounded individual in all existence.

"You wanted to end your life? Why? It's the picture of perfection. I mean you have a family that is never going to leave you. You are living this superhero kind of life. I don't see any downside so far." I threw my hands up dramatically.

Edward stopped a few feet in front of me, not facing me while he answered. "You don't understand what it's like, this life. The normal vampire's main concern is when he is gonna get his next fix. He lives day to day thinking nothing but about himself. But with us, well we are more human for lack of a better term. At least we try to be. And I may have my family, but..."

He paused and pivoted around to continue. His eyes were intense and thoughtful. "...but while I am surrounded by many people whom I do love more than anything, I can't help but feel alone. They are all coupled off and I am happy to see them in love, they deserve that. And I know it's selfish to feel the way that I do, but I can't help but it."

"And to live amongst such strong feelings for a hundred years must be it's own form of hell. I know that I felt that way. Even when times were good with Allan, which was practically never and when they were honestly it scared me because it was so un-Allan like, I felt alone. He didn't know me or care to know me. It was always about him, how he was feeling, what he wanted. I was nothing more than an dispensable accessory." Risking all self-respect that I had managed to summon up in this short period of time. Taking slow steps to Edward, I carefully weave my hands into his own.

"So I do understand, and maybe you don't have to be alone anymore. Neither do I. Maybe, we could be friends or at least try to be." I shrug nonchalantly.

"I'd like that. I'ld like that a lot." Edward smiled brightly. He took a gamble and stroked my cheek. A shudder ran through me, betraying me.

"Just friends Edward." I bring his hand back down but continue holding it.

"Of course. Friends it is then." Edward's smile doesn't quite meet his eyes and I can't help but feel a tinge of guilt.

**A/N: Longest chapter ever! Because it's been the longest time since I've updated. Please review and let me know if you're still interested. I will try to crank out another long chapter by next week. **


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 17

"How was your walk?" Esme asked both Edward and I as we got back to the house. Everyone seemed to be in a buzz about something. Alice especially, seemed anxious over something. And for a vampire to be anxious, well needless to say that made me more than my fair share of nervousness.

"Um, it was okay. Nice actually," I pause to send a quick smile to Edward. "What's wrong? Did something happen?"

Edward guided me to the living room once again, having read what was going on in everyone's mind I assume. Swallowing an unsettling lump, I take a seat. Jasper is ready to jump out of his skin I think, he's squirming uncomfortably.

"Jasper...uh, are you sick?" I ask another question before my original one had been answered.

He looked at me and tried to manage a reassuring smile, but in the end it only looked pained and forced. "No. It's just that everyone is feeling on edge and usually I just calm us all down a bit, but I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable. Sometimes feeling what everyone else is at the same time is a bit...overwhelming."

"It's alright, I don't want you to feel bad on account of me, I'll be fine."

Jasper blew out a sigh of relief and I quickly felt calm again. "So back to what I asked originally..."

"Alice had a vision of the Volturi coming here." Carlisle finally let up on the secret. That name sounded so familiar. Thinking bad, I vaguely remember something about vampire royalty and Allan having been scared of them.

"Oh those vampire Kings or whatever? Well if Allan was scared of them, then I think we will get along perfectly." I laughed a little bit. But I noted that I was the only one to have found humor in the situation.

"Bella, Allan was scared of them for good reason. It is against our laws to interact with humans. It's a crime that is punishable by death to both human and vampire."

"So I guess its my time to leave then. I thought I would have more time to figure out what I was gonna do first."

"No, that won't work. Even if you left they would know that you had been here. They would search for you and easily find you. We have to figure something else out." Edward reasoned.

Well there really isn't any rest for the weary. Am I going to have to be on the run for the rest of my life? I don't see any other option unless I was to become a vampire too. And that was not really something I was too keen on at the moment, regardless of how 'un-vampire-like' the Cullens were.

Rosalie's head shot up and a smile colored her face. She looked like the cat who caught the mouse. Edward quickly adopted the same ridiculous look.

"You are a genius!"

"I know, don't have to tell me twice." Rosalie laughed.

"That would work for more reasons than not."

"Yeah, and it would be believable ya know. Since you have done it before anyways." What Rosalie said sounded like a cut to me. I gotta make a mental note to ask Edward about that later.

"That was a cheap shot Rose. That was a long time ago, and as I recall, you weren't much better. And that's putting it lightly."

"This whole sibling rivialry is really touching and all, but what the hell are you two going on about? Please explain to all the non-mind readers of the family." I sarcastically spat.

Everyone stopped cold, well literally and figuratively I suppose and looked at me. They were shocked but I couldn't put my finger on why exactly. "Uh, what I say?"

"Bella, you asked me to explain Rose's and I's conversation to all the non-mind readers of the family. You put yourself in as apart of our family."

_Shit. How am I gonna dig myself out this hole? I didn't mean to pair myself with the Cullens as a family. It just happened. What was I supposed to say? 'Please explain to all the non-mind readers of your family and me.' Come to think of it, that would have been better. All I know is that I didn't mean to pair myself with the Cullens. I did not. _

"Oh well, whatever. You know what I meant. Now quit trying to change the subject." I frowned and crossed my arms, feigning annoyance.

A knowing glint radiated from Edward's eye. "Whatever you say Bella. To shed some light on what we were talking about, when I first joined Carlisle in this lifestyle, it was difficult to get accustomed to. I stayed with him for awhile but experienced a bit of a rebel period."

"A bit?" Rosalie interrupted which gathered laughter from the others.

"Alright Rosalie, Edward has been heckled enough." Esme ended the steady dispute. I smiled at the mothering behavior that seemed to be purely instinct.

"Like I was saying, the Volturi knew I separated from the family once before. If we can make them believe that I would leave this family again, then we just might be able to keep you safe and keep you human."

And to Edward it seemed, he had struck gold. Hit the nail upon the proverbial head. But being human, being so frail is beyond tiresome. If I was a vampire like the Cullens then I would easily be able to fend for myself. Though I see this as the simplest solution, I know receiving unanimous agreement would not be easily reached. But if I give it enough time and work things just right, then just maybe I'll leave the Cullens stronger than when I first met them. I smiled at the thought very briefly.

"What? Good plan right?" Edward asked hopeful of my concurrence.

"I guess. I take it that your 'ingenious' plan would entail me and you going off into the sunset together for who knows how long right? How perfect!" I dramatically clasp my hands together in sarcasm.

"Well we would be going into hiding Bella. Nothing romantic about it." Edward resigned.

"Don't worry Bells, there's not a romantic bone in Edward's body. None. Not even down..."

"EMMETT! Why don't you go play with something shiny." Edward frantically yet effectively stopped Emmett from finishing that thought.

"Don't be such a buzz kill Edward. You seriously do need some." Emmett jumped up and grabbed the tv remote.

"Well the Volturi will arrive in a couple of days. The two of you should clear out of hear as soon as possible so Bella's scent will be able to dissipate." Alice started. "Oh, you will be needing a lot of clothes! We should go shopping!"

I could feel my eyes practically coming out of their sockets as I imagined the shopping that Alice had in mind. I positively hated shopping, and now was certainly not the time for it. "Alice, I already have tons of clothes and I'm sure the same can be said of Edward. I think we should just pack up and get on the road."

Like a balloon, Alice's excitement deflated with my reasoning. "Maybe another time then. I'll go start packing up your belongings."

"Thank you Alice." Edward smiled politely.

"Well I guess there will still be an open secretary spot at the hospital. Speaking of which, I have to get back to check on a patient. I'll be back before the two of you leave though, just call me if you need anything at all." Carlisle placed two of his hands on the sides of my arms, with a reassuring smile.

"Yeah of course, I don't want you guys to change your everyday life just for me."

"Bella dear, you have already changed our lives. For the better, don't ever worry about inconveniencing us." Esme hugged me as tightly as she dared.

With each passing moment, I was finding it harder and harder to keep myself distanced from the Cullens. But at least that will be easier when it's only Edward and I. At least it should be easier, I mean one is less than seven last time I checked.

**A/N: It's getting harder and harder to write this story. Ugh, my muse is fleeting! **


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 18**

We had managed to forego Alice's desire to shop for a completely new wardrobe. Much to her distress but much to my delight. Edward's and my departure happened quickly, and we were already two hours away from the Cullens household.

I had been so lost in thought that I didn't even think to question where we were going. You would think I'd be a lot more cautious traveling with a vampire. Stealing a glance at Edward, his eyes were on the road. Neither of us had spoken since we left. I know my reasoning, but I would think that Edward would try and further this budding friendship along.

"Everything alright Edward? Do you need to stop?" The last thing I wanted was to be alone in a car with a hungry vampire. No matter how well intentioned.

Edward sighed in defeat and pulled over to the side of the road. "I really hate to leave you here, but it's not like I can bring you with me and I do not think there's any place near by. So..."

"I'll be fine Edward. Besides, there's not much choice. I'll lock the door, now just go." I smile gently and what I hope to be reassuringly. Edward is obviously in a state of indecision still yet walks away in resignation.

"If you even think you are in any kind of danger, start the car and get out of here. I'll find you." And then he broke into a run.

Straightening back into my seat I notice a sign a few feet in front of Edward's Volvo. 'Mountain Home, 50 miles.' Ten minutes had passed and there's still no sign of Edward. To try and pass the time faster I even started counting down the seconds.

Finally I just got out of the car and started walking a little bit. With nothing else to keep me preoccupied I started thinking about what I am really doing. Leaving on this road trip with someone who is supposed to just be a friend. This could be odd especially since said friend wants something more I think.

But on the other hand, as much as I feel like I need to keep myself distant from the Cullens, it's hard to ignore how genuine they've all been. And if I kept up my stone wall forever and it turned out that they really were who they claim to be then that would be the greatest regret and mistake ever. Should I take a chance? Even if that might mean falling straight over the edge?

I wish there was some sort of magic eight ball that could give me the perfect answer. Edward seems so right. Like as dorky as it sounds, I could easily see us having a forever together. But in my situation I can't afford to be so naïve.

"Bella!"

I turned around hearing the yelling. Edward is slowly pulling up in his car completely panicked. If he wasn't so serious I probably would have laughed out right at him.

"What's wrong Edward?" I opened the car and plopped myself down in the passenger seat.

"Are you serious? When I came back and found you were no where in sight I almost had a heart attack."

"A heart attack? Very funny."

"Dammit Bella I was worried someone got to you." Edward's hands were in a vice grip around the steering wheel. If he were human I really would worry about a heart attack being the issue. As selfish as it is, it was kind of nice that he was so worried about me.

"You're right. I'm sorry, I was just tired of waiting by myself in the car."

He briefly looked at me and then sighed with resignation.

**((AN: I hate when authors update short chapters. And now I'm being a hypocrite by doing the same thing. But here's my excuse/explanation:**

**I have no internet until who knows when, that is why my updates have been sparse and sporadic. Though I have to accredit some of it to laziness. :( Hope you liked this little taste of a chapter!))**


End file.
